Nerdie, which is my mash up of cutie and nerd, is my first true FWB – friends with benefits.

36, 5’10”, 165 lbs, pale skin, light brown hair with the most adorable cowlick which makes a tiny bit of his hair stand up in the front. One front tooth that’s at a a bit of an angle – also super cute! Thick, muscular thighs and healthy-sized butt. Not very hairy although some on his shoulders and back owing to his Italian side.

During my first week on Tinder, I accidentally Super Liked him. A Like would be a swipe right and a Super Like is a swipe north. I hit northeast spot on and it interpreted it as north. It happens to the best of us.

He wasn’t very talkative over text and I almost thought he was going to ghost me for our first date. I have off on Mondays so I wrote him early in the day to try and confirm our date for that evening. He apologized for being too busy at work and said yes we were on. He lives in the next valley over – probably 20-30 miles as the crow flies – but an hour by car. We decided to meet in between.

He picked a very casual, down homey Italian restaurant in a strip mall. When I arrived, he was already seated. I noticed a high ball with a Coke can sitting next to it. I assumed it was rum and Coke – unusual choice to pair with Italian food.

We were both a little awkward and nervous. He grew up in the valley he still lives in, only child. His parents had been estranged for years although never divorced. Both had taken up with other people from time to time.

He was a nerd in the classic sense – loves Star Wars, plays video games. But interestingly he also owns guns, and he and his business partner trick out Subarus for a living.

Turns out that Coke was just a Coke. He doesn’t drink, save for a chilled shot of Grey Goose every once in awhile. He also has the blandest palate I could imagine. He ordered cheese ravioli and bread pudding for dessert. 

After learning these sobering facts, I thought one and done. How could I date someone that doesn’t drink and is as picky and boring as a four year old when it comes to food?

My Tinder profile wasn’t as crystal clear as it is now so toward the end of the date I explained my relationship history and how I didn’t want to even try to work toward being serious with someone right now – just FWB. He paused, stammered a few words out and then went radio silent on me. In my head, I was like yes for sure one and done.

We walked out to our cars, said our good-byes without even a touch. I drove home confident I would never see him again.

The next morning he thanked me for the evening. I was just going to let our small talk drift out into the ocean, but we struck up a conversation. I reiterated my desire for only FWB and he said he was ok with that – just that no one had been so direct about it with him before so he didn’t know what to say. Yes, direct Jersey girl at your service!

He asked me out for the weekend saying we could “get into trouble.” Yeah sure straight-laced guy! Then he mentioned going to the city for an overnight. Oh wow, ok! I appreciate stepping up your game. Scary to think about going on a second date to a hotel room in the city with someone I barely knew, but I was intrigued – so let’s do it!