The Dating Game

After breaking up with my third boyfriend after only about a year of dating, yes it was a rebound but that’s another post entirely, I first told myself I needed a break from dating. Twenty-one years went by along with┬áthree failed relationships. Time for a break – that’s the logical conclusion, right?

Well, I thought on it for a day and then realized I didn’t want to be 70, look back to when I was 40 and think…man I was fucking hot, young, smart, healthy and I fucking sat at home?!? No way!

So my next thought was: what’s the least serious dating app out there? Tinder! (One could argue Ok, Cupid or one of the obscure ones but safety first!) Swipe left, swipe right – like a fun match-making game! And oh it is…

I set my location to include 50 miles from Napa so I capture Sac and SF. I set my age to 30 to 55+ cause why not? I even set it to show men and women cause again why not?

At any given time I have 60-70 matches, a good majority of which are Super Likes. Let me digest it for those not in on the online dating scene. A profile comes up. They can have up to six pictures and write a couple hundred words as a profile, or not. They can link their Instagram and Spotify accounts, or not. Work and school info gets pulled from FB, I think. The live distance from them to you appears as well as their age, or if you pay for it you can keep that on the DL.

You look, you like, you swipe right or tap the green heart button. You no like, you swipe left or tap the red ‘X’ button. You really like, you Super Like or tap the blue star.

Difference is you don’t know if someone swiped left or right on you until you do. Swipe left, they go away forever and you never know if they swiped left or right on you. Swipe right, you get either an instant match notification or nothing because they swiped left on you…womp, womp!

But if they Super Liked you, when their profile comes up it is surrounded by a blue box and the blue star sits at the bottom of their top profile pic. So you know that if you swipe right, it’s an instant match.

I get a lot of these and a lot of matches just when I swipe right. Yes, I know I’m hot and smart, but I also think it’s because guys are misinterpreting my profile.

Here’s what it says:

Eat, drink, cook, be silly, flirt, run, hike, wear heels and cowboy boots, lift weights, do good, sell wine, dance in the car, jump in the water, lay on a beach, sext, try new shit, look good doing it, repeat!

FWB only – serious emphasis on the F and safe sex. Open to poly, creative arrangements. If you are looking for a hook up or booty text, swipe left please.

6′, never married, no kids.

I think they see FWB and that translates as easy fuck. Or maybe I should omit the “creative arrangements.” In any case, I get a lot of matches. I’m not complaining at all – first world problems, honey!

I’ve been on Tinder since early October. Couldn’t tell you how many guys I’ve talked to, or went out on dates with, but I’m generally talking to about a dozen on Tinder or off via text.

I’ve actually been relatively successful at finding a few true FWBs to date. I’ll give them each their own posts. But I’m still looking and exploring.

Of course, it’s just plain fun to be going out most nights of the week and meeting new guys is super exciting. But I also take it as a learning experience. Learning about myself. Trying to discover more about myself, not yet with an eye to what I want out of a relationship or maybe never with that eye. I’m just happy to learn what I like and don’t like. What types of men and women do I surround myself with? What do I like to do – both in and out of the bedroom? What do I want to try – both in and out of the bedroom? I’m just going, doing, feeling and reflecting, and that’s plenty for me at the moment.




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