Instead of using real or fake first names, I thought I’d give each of my guys pet names that describe them. Nerdie, which is my mash up of cutie and nerd, is my first true FWB – friends with benefits.
36, 5’10”, 165 lbs, pale skin, light brown hair with the most adorable cowlick which makes a tiny bit of his hair stand up in the front, one front tooth that’s at a a bit of an angle, also super cute! Not an exerciser so a bit of a belly, thick thighs and healthy-sized butt. Not very hairy although some on shoulders and back owning to his Italian side, no manscaping anywhere, but not too much hair so I can deal.
During my first week on Tinder, I accidentally Super Liked him. Sometimes if you swipe northeast on the app it interprets it as north. It happens to the best of us.
He wasn’t very talkative over text and I almost thought he was going to diss me for our first date on a Monday night last month. I have off on Mondays so I wrote him early in the day to try and confirm. He just apologized for being too busy at work and said yes we were on. He lives in Santa Rosa – probably 20-30 miles as the crow flies – but an hour by car. We decided to meet sort of in between in Petaluma.
He picked a very casual, down homey Italian restaurant in a strip mall. When I arrived, he was already seated. I noticed a high ball with a Coke can sitting next to it. I assumed it was rum and Coke – unusual choice for Italian food??
We chit-chatted about I don’t remember what. We were both a little awkward and nervous. He grew up to Rohnert Park, only child. His parents had been estranged for years although never divorced. Both had taken up with other people.
He was nerd in the true sense – loves Star Wars, plays video games. But he also owns guns, and he and his business partner trick out Subarus for a living. And, I learned later, he’s a total dom in the bedroom – that’s short for dominant.
Turns out that Coke was just a Coke. He doesn’t drink, save for a shot of Grey Goose chilled every once in awhile. He also has the blandest palate one could imagine owing I think to the fact that everything he tastes is an assault on his tongue. Maybe I’ve finally met one of these elusive super-tasters?!?
After learning these sobering facts, I thought one and done. How could I date someone that doesn’t drink and is as picky as a four year old when it comes to food?
My Tinder profile wasn’t as crystal clear as it is now so toward the end of the date I explained my relationship history and how I didn’t want to even try to work toward being serious with someone right now – just FWB. He paused, stammered a few words out and then went radio silent on me. In my head, I was like yes for sure one and done.
We walked out to our cars, said our good-byes without even a touch and I drove home.
The next morning he thanked me for the evening. I was just going to let our small talk drift out into the ocean, but we struck up a conversation. I reiterated my FWB and he said he was ok with that – just that no one had been so direct about it with him before so he didn’t know what to say. Yes, direct Jersey girl at your service!
He asked me out for the weekend saying we could “get into trouble.” Yeah sure straight-laced guy! Then he mentioned going to the city for an overnight…ok, hello freaked out and intrigued…umm, yes!