Category Archives: Fuck

A Fairy and A Prostitute: Part I

I’ve come to call some of my first dates fairies. It has nothing to do with their sexual orientation, but rather that they fly in, sprinkle some pixie dust of insight or knowledge, and then I let them flutter away. It’s usually not their physical appearance that attracts me, but rather something about their life experiences urges me to see them in person.

This is exactly how it was for my first fairy.

38, 5’10”, lives in Sac, widowed with a gf in an open relationship, dark skin, thick dark hair and eyebrows, sultry eyes, big wide smile, was a bartender for awhile, now in tech, possible photoshopping on his sexy pics cause his real body looked like he had once been fat.

He was one of the first dates I went on with a guy who had a gf in an open relationship. We made plans for the two of them to come to Napa for dinner. I was nervous and excited about the possibility of my first threesome.

“I have bad news. We have to cancel for tonight. She had an appointment she had forgot about and it is something she can’t miss. I apologize. It sucks cause I’ve been excited about it. BUT we promise we will make it up to you. Actually we are both on very flexible schedules so if there is another night that will work let us know.”

“Ok no worries, hmm well I’m guessing it would be hard for you guys to come to Napa during the week?”

“Well….since she has her appointment tonight I have no other plans. Want to still go out?”

“Sure! If we click we can talk about having having her join too or not, whatever feels natural is fine with me.”

We met for drinks and snacks at a casual restaurant in downtown Napa. His face was wide and dark. He was quick to laugh and that, plus his wide smile, made me feel comfortable immediately.

He told me about his wife dying in their early 30s. How much she was his soulmate and partner. How lost he had been for so long until he found his current gf, who was no stranger to open relationships. She had lived most of her adult life that way. He felt like he found home with her. Always having the idea in his mind of being free to love many people in many ways.

Fairy dust.

He told me about Feeld, a dating app for couples and kinks. This is where I ended up meeting The Worshipper and The Couple.

He also told me about “The Ethical Slut”, a book about navigating open relationships.

Fairy dust ball.

That book was a revelation, helping to solidify my muddy, pre-formed thoughts about love and relationships that continue to evolve. More on that in another post.

The intellectual connection I was having with him was amazing even though the physical connection was just so-so. But I was so turned on by the conversation I invited him back to my apartment. I also wanted to take him for a test drive before meeting the gf, so to speak.

He took me from behind as I lay flat on the bed. Pushing my hands up against my headboard. Pushing repeatedly. My ass smashed by his lower stomach as his cock slid out and all the way in, as deep as it could go. It slid easily through my wet cunt.

I turned my head to the side so I could see him thrusting. I not only felt his tight grip on my hips, but now I could see his fingers digging in to me, pulling me back and forth over his hard cock.

He came and collapsed on me. Turned me over and immediately went down on me.

It didn’t take me long to follow. Literally dripping wet, his tongue glided over my clit. As soon as he started making light, fast circles over it, I went over the top.

“Oh my god! Oh my godddd…fuck me…mmmm…oh my fucking god!”

We fell asleep almost instantaneously. He left in the morning. An hour later even before I got out of bed.

“You are awesome! That was awesome. You looked so hot when you came. I wish I was still touching your body right now. We will need to do it again soon.”

“Thanks! And thanks for coming to Napa and treating me to a fun night!”

The Couple: The Bitch

I met The Couple on Feeld. If you are unfamiliar with that dating app and need a refresher, read the first few paragraphs of this post.

Like other singles and couples I had been matched with, it was just a lot of kinky chatting. These folks were the first ones to invite me for a drink.

He was 6’3″, scraggly beard, large pointed nose, slender if not a little wiry, great wide smile. She was 5’2″, dirty blond hair, long and straight, adorable laugh, slender, quiet.

They lived two counties over so we found a mutually agreeable dive bar to meet in the middle on a Sunday late afternoon.

I arrived first, bellied up to the bar with two other stools, and ordered a tall frosty one. They came in a few minutes later and we exchanged hugs and greetings. I found them both attractive right away. Their body language toward each other and me said fun, confident, and sexy. I was in!

We arranged the stools close together in a wide V with her in the middle. The conversation flowed easily around the usual topics of work, family and lifestyle. There wasn’t a shortage of cheesy jokes, subtle sexual innuendos and smiles across the board.

He was a criminal litigator working on building a political board game around the 2016 presidential election. She was a governmental employee of some kind making a long commute into the city daily.

They were newlyweds and had met and had an affair when they were both married to other people. Umm…ok, a sensitive topic for me. A definite flag on the play, but ok let’s see where this goes.

They figured since they had both been unfaithful before that in this marriage they should open it up to include other people. They were both free to sleep with anyone else at anytime, or with someone/people together, as long as they were practicing safe sex. Ok, the logic is there, I guess I’ll give them that.

During the discussion, mostly as I reflect now as the beers kept flowing, he began to get a just a wee bit assertive about sex.

“Well if we go home tonight…”

“You’d really like it when we…fill in the blank sexual act…”

After the third beer, unsolicited, he announced that he thought the three of us were having just a swimming time and why don’t we go to dinner?

Perhaps it was my naivety in my first date with a couple, but I was feeling a little bit uneasy, yet, also still extremely curious to see where this would go. I suppose if I stuck to my own car, major roads and public places I’d be right as rain so I proceeded.

We found a casual Italian place in town and drove separately there. They were busy for a Sunday night so we tucked tightly into a table for two with me and her on the bench close together.

We ordered wine, then an appetizer, then entrees. As he kept drinking the comments moved from assertive to aggressive, and my mood from open-minded to closed.

“I can’t wait to watch you two.”

“How do you want to fuck us?”

Well, buddy, you just turned my semi into limp.

The bill came, he pulled it toward him, as I thought he should since he invited me to have dinner with them, and then said this.

“We’ll divide it three ways, and I’m only paying for the bitch I get to take home.”

I sat there stunned, and I know I don’t have a poker face so I’m sure it reflected my inability to know what to say or do next. I put down my card, signed the receipt. I didn’t intend to make a scene, just to leave and get away as fast as possible.

I made all the niceties in the parking lot – hugs and thank yous. Looked over my shoulder as I walked to my car, and thanked the lord they didn’t know where I lived.

Creeper: The Shout-Out

For a brief time I created a profile on Plenty of Fish, an unremarkable dating app that seemed wholly focused on “Netflix and chill.”

I started texting with a guy, Creeper, that quickly became sexting.

46, 6′, short dark hair, fit but not ripped from the pictures I saw, great cheek bones, square jawline, events manager/contractor in the East Bay, total slut.

I told him I was interested in exploring my sexuality with girls. He told me about the young women he was hooking up with. Many in their 20s. The pictures he sent me of them were way past tastefully, thoughtfully or discretely done.

A full on nude, with full face, of a 20-something standing in a brightly-lit, pink bathroom littered with clothes and towels on the floor and make-up and other girlie accessories all over the counter top.

Another was an extreme close-up of a razor-burned pussy. No idea if it was the same girl.

He started a group chat with the dirty bathroom girl. We all exchanged pics, and talked about hooking up. Her tits were young and beautiful, round, perky, motorboat-able. Her hair was long, fine, dark and straight down to her ass.

He said they were meeting up on Saturday morning for playtime. Weird timing, but ok. I asked if he would send me a picture.

At 10AM I got a video.

I could see they were in the back of an SUV, parked god knows where in broad daylight. The shot was her on all fours with her right hand reaching between her legs touching her clit.

Creeper! Who are these low self-esteem girls who fuck you?? My interest in actually meeting him had seriously fell off, but ok, let’s see where this goes.

I hit play.

The camera pans up over her ass to highlight her deep V from shoulders to narrow waist. Sweetheart ass exposing her asshole. Long dark hair cascading over her pale white, narrow shoulders and back.

“Put your head back a little bit for her, baby. Show her how long your hair is. Mmm…watch this, Adrienne.”

The camera pans down to his hard, naked cock. With one hand on her ass, the other filming, he slowly pushes his cock inside her. I watch her take it all in. She gasps and in a high-pitch, lackluster voice she must have learned from watching a lot of porn…

“Oh yeah. Oh my god. Fuck that pussy.”

“Oh my god. You feel so fucking good.”

Shaky camera work gets close-ups of ass, cock, long brown hair, the back of her head. His cock sliding in and out of her smoothly and easily, her pussy devouring it whole, bumping that perfectly smooth, shiny, round ass over and over.

I had no time to play that morning as I was on a tight schedule to get to the winery by 11AM, but I was so turned on. I could feel my pussy pulsating in my panties as I was watching what was a :43 second video.

I jumped into the bedroom, pulled up my dress and down with my panties. I tapped my clit with my right index finger and could feel it was already swollen.

I ran my first two fingers down inside my lips and I was soaking. I moved back up, found my spot pushing the flesh on the outside of my clit over to the left and pressed my fingers in hard.

I went fast thinking about the head of his hard cock pushing her pussy lips open to take it in. Thinking about her pussy swallowing it. Hearing the repeated bump against her ass once it was all in. Hearing her sticky wetness as he pushed in and out.

I went back to my computer after I finished, and there was another video waiting.

He’s lying on his back. She’s reverse cowboying with the camera close to the action. Her pussy is again swallowing his cock. I can hear that gooey, wet pussy slide up and down.

“Mmm, baby, you’re fucking amazing. Oh, you look so fucking good. Give me that pussy. This is the reverse cowboy position, Adrienne.

Sit up and show her your beautiful hair, baby. Show her how sexy you are. Look at that.

She’s riding my cock, Adrienne.

She wants to kiss you right now, Adrienne.

Yeah, I think she wants to lick your pussy while I fuck her like this.

She wants to get with you soon so let’s make it happen. Tell us if you like it, Adrienne.”

Ok, no denying it was hot as fuck, but what girl gets fucked in the back of a car in daylight on Saturday morning and it’s A-OK that he films it and talks to another girl during?!? Strictly masturbating material…thanks, guys!

Prison Dyke: The Un-Climax

I fell back asleep after she left. When I woke up, I found her diamond earring and a pair of shorts she wore under her jeans on the floor. I sent her a pic of me in the shorts pulled halfway down with my left tit and stomach exposed.

“You secretly wanna see me again, you can’t deny it! Or at least half your wardrobe did…”


“Some time this week?”

“Honestly I don’t feel safe right now. I don’t want to spiral out of control playing games. I need to be someone’s #1. I am tired of feeling insecure.”

“I figured you might go that way. I’m sorry to hear it cause I had fun with you and wanted to see you again.”

Next day.

“Do you know a good civil litigation attorney in Napa?”

OMG! What washed over me when I read that text was fear that she knows where I live, a tug at my heart because I can feel she is a good person who just had a shitty childhood and most likely a really tough time growing up as a lesbian, and curiosity all the same.

“Not really. The lawyers I know do things like estate and tax law…sorry. I’m driving to San Rafael later this morning and could come through Vallejo if you want help.”

“When do you get back? I may be in Napa to file paperwork in the courthouse.”

“I’ll be gone for the day. Seeing a friend in Oakland after a stop in San Rafael to check out futons.”

“Ok, some other time then.”

Two hours later.

“I am stressed out.”

Oh god, what have I started getting myself in to? I want to be nice and sympathetic, but this is getting clingy and weird. I try to be helpful as I start to open the door to leave.

“Why? Is the courthouse and lawyer stuff about that crazy neighbor you were telling me about?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel weak and stupid.”

“Why? Cause of what happened with us? I had fun.”

“I am scared to go to jail. I promised myself I would never go back.”

“You gotta find a lawyer then.”

I had no idea what the fuck to say to all this. How can I be nice and helpful, and also keep my distance and exit this connection?

And oh god, oh god! I slept with an ex-con, and she has my number and knows where I live. Oh god, oh god!

Next day.

“I sucked in school. I am dyslexic. I made my money the hard way. I feel inferior to the establishment because I am from the streets. I can’t speak English like real white people. I am different.”

“It’s perfectly fantastic to be different. You have challenges, we all do. Nothing to feel bad about.”

Next day.

“I got good people around me. Take care.”

Prison Dyke: The Climax

A sunny Saturday afternoon in Napa. Running errands, working on my batch of Limoncello. I made plans to meet a girlfriend for a drink after she got off work in the early evening.

I had profiles on Tinder, Feeld, Bumble, POF, and Ok Cupid. With the latter, I set my profile to only look for women. On the advice of a lesbian friend, I replaced the pic of me with a shot gun (girls don’t like guns??) with a black and white heat shot where just a small piece of hair fell right in to the corner of my mouth.

I receive a message at about 3PM.

She was 4’11”, half white and half Filipino. Short spiky hair. Loose boy clothes. Soft dark skin. Muscular build. Shy. Quiet. Nervous. Paranoid.

“So, how are you?”

“Howdy lady! I’m good, enjoying the sun and getting errands done. How are you?”

“I am relaxing and enjoying my peaceful state. What type of exploration do you want to do?”

“Lots of things I want to explore, but in particular I’ve always found women attractive, but only ever kissed or flirted…”

“You know there are different types of lesbians, right? What are you trying to get out of this experience you are craving?”

“I do thanks to my lesbian tattooist who I’ve been with for almost 10 years! LOL!

I’m looking to find a woman I click with who isn’t too set in her ways to try me…a total newbie. She can be gay or bi or bi-curious, like me. Just want someone easy going and laid back. I find I’m most attracted to boyish girls or at least not too girlie. So obviously I find you sexy…”

Her response to that was just her phone number.

“I like when the answer is your number!”

“What do you have planned for the night?”

“Going for a drink or two with a girlfriend shortly, then not sure.”

“Text me after, we can have a drink too, ok?”

“Sure that sounds cool. So what kind of women do you like? What do you find attractive about me?”

“Your innocence. Your curiosity is sexy. The way you are trying to stand on your own two feet and look at the world for yourself.”

We met around 10PM in Napa, and had a drink at a quiet bar. I was more talkative than usual because I had already had a few with my girlfriend and because she was so shy.

It was obvious she trained herself to lower her voice when she talked. I could feel her troubled existence through the words she chose and the stories she told. Worry about a bothersome neighbor. Worry about and also anger for her mom. Her mom was Filipino, never married her white dad. She had a half brother from her mom and a black man.

After two drinks, she said she was worried about driving back to Vallejo. But there was some obvious chemistry, so I could tell she didn’t want to go home. Even though I was feeling a little concerned about her lifestyle and mental state, I was also ready to jump at the chance to have a sexual experience with a woman.

I offered for us to go back to my place.

We walked to her beat up truck. Before she opened the car door for me, she gave a few dollars to a guy on the street. I could plainly see how full of heart, kind and sensitive she was.

We drove to the liquor store, came back to my place and sat out on the back patio. She emptied a tobacco wrapper of its tobacco and stuffed it full of weed. She drank Fireball and Coke. I smoked a cigarette and drank red wine.

I got cold and she took her jacket off to wrap around me.

After she pulled the jacket closed around me, she leaned in further and kissed me. Her lips were thin and soft.

When she sat back, she took my hand with her and placed it on the inside of her thigh. I was startled by its size. At her height, her cock went at least a third of the way down her leg.

She moved my hand over it, and I smiled nervously.

We brought everything back upstairs, and before I could do much cleaning up she grabbed me, spun me around, took the back of my head and stuck her tongue down my throat.

She pushed me from the kitchen into the bedroom. I just let her take over.

She told me to get on the bed and we kissed as she unbuttoned, unzipped and pulled down my jeans. Her hand went immediately to my pussy, cupping the outside. Then she gently rubbed my lips up and down before putting two fingers inside and pushing up hard. It was a delightful surprise that made my back arch.

I quickly took off my top as she did. She removed her pants to reveal one of the largest cocks I’ve ever seen. She had on boxer briefs over the straps and her cock was protruding from the “fly.”  I was a little scared.

She rubbed it up and down between my pussy lips getting me more excited and wetter. Without warning on one trip moving back up, she thrust it in to me with full force.

My exhale was filled with both pleasure and pain at its size and depth inside me.

She buried her head in my neck and fucked me fast. I grabbed her back, her tits, her ass.

She ordered me to turn over on to my stomach, lie flat with my legs closed. She made the head board slam against the wall, and started getting herself off by gripping the shaft and rubbing the end attached to her over her clit while she fucked me.

She got tired, stopped, laid on her back and asked me to do reverse cowboy. Her cock felt like it was in my throat.

We switched back to missionary, and she closed her eyes and concentrated on giving herself an orgasm rubbing the base of her cock in circles over her clit while she fucked me. She came and collapsed on my chest. We both passed out.

In the morning, I woke up as the little spoon. She said she was going to go, but we talked and cuddled a little longer before she left.

User Manual, Part A

I just finished “Eight Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory” and the author mentioned writing your own user manual to “showcase your self-awareness and communication skills.” Some of you who know me well might chuckle a bit knowing the organized, critical-thinking German in me would love this idea – and you would be correct!

They suggest writing it in three parts: Family background and history; How to turn me on emotionally; and How to turn me on. Each part includes a series of questions to think about and answer. I shall tackle these in three posts starting with the obvious.

Part A: Family background and history.

  • Do you have any brothers and sisters? How would you characterize your relationship with them?

Yes, I have an older sister, 8 years older than me, and an older brother, 6 years older than me. Both are married, each with two kids ranging in ages from 12-19. My sister still lives in NJ and my brother in DE. My sister is Catholic and my brother Evangelical. My sister’s family doesn’t really practice although she goes to church every week. My brother’s family is faith-focused with the kids going to religious school and heavy involvement in church and the church community.

My relationship with them is at a pretty surface level, and because I was so much younger than they were, it’s been that way my entire life. I fly home once a year for Christmas and talk/text with each of them every few weeks or so and it’s pretty much always about family logistics.

Since PhD and I broke up a year and a half ago though, I have gotten a little closer with them. My sister calls more regularly to talk about life, family and job stuff. My brother helped me with financial advice when I bought my house. Still surfacey-level, but it feels just a little deeper.

  • How would you characterize your childhood and its effect on you now?

I call myself the happy accident. My brother and sister were two years apart and then I came six years later. They grew up together. I grew up as an only child, in effect. I didn’t mind this at all really. I was daddy’s little girl and still love to be spoiled.

My parents divorced when I was 12. At that point they had two of three kids out of the house in college. I got fucked. My mom started dating, met a man and in three months they were engaged. He came to live with us when I was 15, and from then until I went to college I was a total and utter bitch to him. I do love him to death now, but at the wedding reception held at my mom’s house I spent the evening in my room crying.

My dad had a girlfriend by the time I was 13. I hated her at first too, but since my dad lived out of the house and she had her own house, I had time to get used to her. By the next year, I loved her. They didn’t marry for ten more years.

In school, I was a nerdy, shy, jock. I didn’t have a ton of friends, no boyfriends, more girl acquaintances with the exception of my former best friend who would throw me under the bus for the slightest whiff of popularity. We knew each other since we were babies and she lived a handful of doors down from me although our parents weren’t friends. We spent a lot of time hanging out and her family affected my upbringing as well.

Her dad worked and her mom stayed home. My friend was the oldest with two younger brothers. Her mom verbally and physically abused all of them and there were very strict rules about things in the house. For example, she grew to be a big girl with big ass tits like her mom. Her mom was always on a diet and therefore so was she. In order to avoid being caught eating between meals, you could never open a package or finish a package of anything.

I was very active growing up too. I started dancing when I was 4, sports at 9, and have kept myself in-shape my entire life. My physical appearance is important to me. I take pride in it.

My parents raised us Catholic for a period. My mom, who grew up in KY, met my dad one summer at the Jersey shore, and they married within a few months. Her family had a long history with alcoholism. She raised us Catholic hoping my Polish Catholic father would take an interest in church. It didn’t work out and neither did they so as their relationship began to fall apart, my mom went back to her church roots attending a baptist church. My brother and I were baptized out of Catholicism at ages 15 and 9, respectively, but my sister stayed Catholic.

I think my childhood taught me self-sufficiency. I can entertain myself. I have the determination to do things myself. I’m self-reliant. I’m fiercely independent. I don’t like authority. I question everything. I want evidence. I’m empathetic. I need attention and affirmation. I don’t like to be alone that often. I also tend to not be as verbally expressive. I have high expectations and can be judgmental and snotty. I think very highly of myself. I’m very critical of myself. I’m shy in social group situations. Alcohol is my drug of choice.

  • What is your family like? How would you characterize your relationship with them?

I have a blended family. My step-dad has two daughters – one married living in Germany with her husband and two sons, another divorced twice with no kids living in Jersey. My step-mom has two sons – one married living in Jersey with his wife, daughter and son, another unmarried living in Jersey with a schizophrenic diagnosis.

My brother-in-law’s family is also blended because his mom married three times. He has one blood sister who adopted a son and they together have a half-brother who is a recovered drug addict. There are many aunts, uncles and cousins on his side of the family that I still have not managed to keep straight. They met when I was 14 and married when I was 16.

My sister-in-law has a twin and their parents died young. Her twin has never been married so it’s a small family. They met at church and married when I was 25.

As I mentioned above, my relationship with my family is cordial but not deep. We all love and care about each other, but I’ve never felt I’ve showed them the real me and I’ve never felt they have showed me the real people they are. And although they all live close to each other, they don’t see each other but for holidays and birthdays throughout the year.

  • What word do you often use to describe yourself? Why?

The happy accident, the only child, the baby, the black sheep all come to mind. I think that really describes my childhood and relationship with my family as well as how I am as an adult.

Part of me never grew up because I didn’t have to so I’m silly and childish. Part of me is spoiled, snotty, attention-seeking/needy, and vain. Part of me feels grateful for my life and everything in it. Part of me also feels like if I wasn’t tall with a big nose that I would question whether I was mixed up at the hospital. My family is deeply uncurious about life. They did everything by the book – college, marriage, kids, house, work. That is completely uninteresting to me. I want to learn, explore, experience.

  • What word do others use to describe you? Do you think it’s accurate?

Hmm, I don’t really know. A new friend recently told me she had a hard time describing me to someone else. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing?? Maybe I’m unique?? I kinda think so, but that probably wouldn’t surprise anyone who has read this far in this post.

  • What are your key emotional issues a partner might bump into (anger, abuse, abandonment, name-calling, condescension)? Tell a story summarizing why they exist.

As much as I portray outwardly that I’m confident and independent, there are triggers that can turn that foundation to sand and I can quickly wash out into the ocean.

My mom says it’s because I’m sensitive and have a big heart, which I think is partly true. But I also think because I wasn’t reassured and affirmed as a child (owning to my family’s lack of emotional intelligence and communication), I can break at the smallest criticism. I spiral down quickly, become depressed, quiet, anti-social, and throw a pity party for myself. Usually being left alone to think, some wine, and getting a good night’s sleep refreshes my mind. I develop contingency plans or plans to fix the problem and put it into action. Sometimes talking with someone about the problem can help, but because I’m not good at verbalizing it is extremely difficult for me to reach out and ask for help.

Also the three past relationships I’ve had have all revolved around either me cheating or being cheated on or with some heavy focus on cheating. So I tend not to trust very easily or quickly. As I said before, I need evidence, and to me those aren’t words. That’s time and behavior that I watch silently like a hawk making mental notes. If you don’t follow through, I may give you one more chance, but if you disappoint again, I’ll cut you off and discard you like mold on cheese, and I’ll never look back. It’s a matter of survival and protection.

  • What do you value in a relationship? Tell a story summarizing your embracing of that value.

I value trust. If you tell me you will do something and don’t, I begin to lose trust and start backing away. Words are nice, but I want to see your actions back that up consistently. You need to manage expectations with me because my mind is a steel trap.

I value curiosity and exploration. Whether that is in the bedroom or out in the world, I want to do new things with you. I want you to teach me something new. I want to do fun, silly, childish things. I want to explore your mind. I want to learn something new from how you think and act and from what you’ve done with your life.

I value touch. Up until six months ago, I thought touch was silly and sappy. Now I’m a world-class cuddler and notice every gentle, unspoken touch you may give me – from the pat on the butt as you walk by to your knee touching mine as we sit next to each other at the bar to hands running all over me to a simple touch on the arm when you tell me a story.

I value self-actualization. Kind of a cheesy, self-help book word, but I remember learning about it in college. In Mazlow’s Hierarchy of Needs, self-actualization was at the pinnacle. After your basic and phycological needs were met, this was maximizing your existence – getting everything out of it, having no regrets, sucking the marrow out of life. I don’t care what people do for a living or the personal choices they make. I respect you if you are living up to your full potential. If you leave something on the table because of fear or letting other obstacles get in your way, my view of you is diminished. I maintain the same standard for myself and judge myself just as harshly. I don’t believe in regret and I don’t believe in right and wrong. You try, you learn.

Ok, on to Part B: How to turn me on emotionally…

Diamonds: Bar, Car, Good-Bye

I arrived back to my sister’s house at about midnight. She was waiting up for me to say good-bye because she was leaving on a business trip early the following morning. I put the key in the front door, and she opened it before I could unlock it. She gave me a kiss and a hug, and then I floated on a cloud to my bedroom.

What the fuck just happened in room 243?!?

I was flying back to Cali on Monday. How could I see him again?

I got into bed and before I could put my head to the pillow.

“I wish your sexiness was here.”

“What just happened? That was fucking amazing…everything. I need to see you again before I go. I’m having dinner with my step-mom tomorrow night, but I want to see you after that. I don’t care how late.”

“Tomorrow night then. I want you. You really are super sexy, my dear, so fucking sexy. Thank you for tonight.”

I could barely concentrate on anything that happened on Sunday. I went to church with my niece to watch my mom play the bells in the choir. I had a perfectly lovely, yet always terrible breakfast at the neighborhood diner following. I ran an errand with my brother-in-law. I had dinner with my step-mom.

Everyone sounded like the adults in Peanuts while my brain wondered.

Dreaming of him picking me up right off the floor into his big arms like I was a feather. Dreaming of his hands cascading over my ass cheeks back and forth. Dreaming of my legs wrapped around his calf, looking up and talking for hours. Dreaming of his cock sliding in an out of me with my legs straight up and his hands around my ankles.

I got to the dive bar down the street from my sister’s first. I got a beer and waited for him. He walked in looking and smelling amazing. I wanted to turn right around and take him back to 243.

Red, white and blue plaid button down. Dark jeans. Boots. Navy blue sweater. Charcoal flat cap.

As soon as he sat down, I wrapped my foot around his ankle and moved in close. We couldn’t stop smiling and laughing.

We talked through two beers, and he said he couldn’t let me go home. I told him I wanted him so bad.

Last call. We went to the parking lot and sat in his car. The snow shoveled to the edges of the small parking lot. We talked, smoked, and watched a few young restaurant workers spill out of the back door.

Heavy making out lead to discussion of finding a motel. It was 1AM on a technically Monday morning.

I told him to drive down a side road. He was reluctant and nervous about the prospect.

We found a long dirt road leading to a boat launch.

I climbed over the passenger’s seat into the back and unglamorously, fidgeting back and forth, took off my skinny jeans. He exited the front car door and came in through the back.

He barely pushed his pants down enough before I grabbed his hard cock and pushed it into me. With my foot on the ceiling and his head buried in my neck, we fucked hard and fast.

I put my arms around his shoulders and grabbed the back of his head, pressing his body as tightly up against mine as I could.

I was so wet I could feel me run down my pussy and through my ass cheeks.

He jolted forward and came hard. Screamed out loud.

I woke up from the trance we were in. The windows were fogged, and we were both sweating despite the bitter winter cold outside.

“Oh my god, woman…”

I laughed. I left feeling like melted marshmallow.

Scandi: Finger in Butt, Condom in Face

The day after The BJ, I invited Scandi over to my place despite being nervous about being date raped in my own apartment. I had a bad gut feeling, but the danger was intriguing, attractive somehow.

Would you like a surprise when you arrive?

I would.

Ok, I’ll leave the front door open for you. Just come up the stairs and come in…

I was naked in a bubble bath in my jacuzzi tub lit only by candles.

I heard him open the door, stop, walk back toward the bedroom, turn and see me in the bath.

Oh I like you. I REALLY like you.

He took off his clothes in record speed and jumped in to the bath with me. I laid on top of him and we made out a bit while he ran his hands over my soapy, wet ass.

I stopped, got up and sat on the edge of the tub to change the song. He took the opportunity to slide his index finger part way up my butt. I turned around and smiled. It turned me on.

We played around in the bath for awhile. Joked. Laughed. Fondled. Kissed. Grabbed. Spread my pussy out over his thigh. Rubbed up and down.

Shoved my left tit in his mouth. His two big hands spread over my ass cheeks with a firm grip.

It got hot.

We rinsed, dried off, got in to bed and immediately got a condom on him so he was ready.

It was hot.

I laid on my back and started playing with my clit. He stroked himself and watched. Then couldn’t wait.

He moved in closer and slid himself inside me.

I bent my knees and pressed them against his sides. He reached around with both hands to grab my ass.

I was really turned on, and didn’t want to give up having an orgasm.

I used my bent thighs and pushed him back just a little so I could get access again to my clit with my fingers.

I felt him trying to push back in. I tried to maintain enough clearance between his body and my clit so I could keep touching myself. It was becoming frustrating.

Apparently, for both of us.

He jerked back. Pulled off the condom and threw it in my face.

What the fuck?!?

I wanted to touch myself.

You had plenty of space.

Not really true, but I was super shocked, and became quite scared in that moment. A 6’4″ guy in my bed that I barely knew, and he’s pissed off about sex.

I certainly didn’t want to escalate the situation by getting angry or kicking him out at that exact second.

I played it off to try and diffuse the situation. Made a joke about trying again…wake me up with a hard cock in a few hours?? He calmed down. We talked about other stuff for awhile and went to sleep.

In the morning, I let him shower and he left in a joking, jovial mood.

I never texted him again. I bought pepper spray.

Irishman: The Sex Adviser

I matched with the Irishman on Tinder about a week ago. He actually lives 4,968 miles away in, well, Ireland some place. He’s planning to come to the Bay Area to scope it out this summer and then plans to move here late in the year.

6’1″, 27, fucking Irish!, fit – oh so fit, Celtic circular tattoo on his upper right chest, abs and arms oh my! – I think I said that part already but fuck!, works in insurance, plays golf – of course.

Friday morning for me, evening for him.

Hey I just got home from work. Heading over to a “friends” tonight. And well, I’m glad you think I’m sexy. So It ain’t just a one sided thing.

Ha! Have fun with your “friend”! LOL If you care to kiss and tell, please do.

At hers here. Watching some stupid movie. Not much to kiss n tell. LOL Yet…haha.

We’ll get to it! I want some stories!

All good things come to those who wait!


Tell me what you want me to do to her…If it was me and you now, tell me what you would want me to do to you and I will do it to her. Am in the toilet so be quick!

Oh gosh! I’d want you to run your hands over my tits up my neck, grip a little hard on my neck while kissing it and biting my jaw bone.

Then you’d come back down and suck on my nipples, still with a grip on my neck. Press your hard cock against my pussy with our clothes still on.

Speed my legs with yours and press in deeper. Push me back on the couch, press your mouth against my pussy over my panties while grabbing my thighs.

Then grabbing my ass.

Pull my panties aside and tease me with the light touch of your tongue. Push a couple of fingers inside me hard.

Eat me until I came.

Then fuck me hard and fast.

You have no idea how turned on I am right now and how hard I am…in my head I’ll be doing this all to you. Jeez…I’m sooo turned on right now.

Have fun! Go fuck her good! Stop talking to me and fuck her!

One hour later.

Adrienne….whaoooo. I made her cum before we even fucked and she cut the back of me. But I’ve never fucked as intensely as that before. She was so loud and asked me to call her daddy?? I’ve been fucking her since Christmas and tonight she just became someone else. It was fucking amazing!

Although I came a little early I’m still horny as fuck. Will definite be fucking again before we sleep.

Thanks for the full report…glad you had fun!

LOL…she just asked who I have been messaging all night.

Tell her your sex adviser from California! She should also thank me. I gave you all those ideas to please her…

Scandi: The BJ

Scandi was tall, tattooed fun and he obviously challenged my brain – see “Is Orgasm the Point of Sex?” for that reference.

43, 6’4″, Scandinavian, Californian, grabby from second one after meeting, involuntary facial tick on the left side of his face, shifty, not as tight as I had hoped, thinks himself clever, all about that bass, divorced, daughter, recovering alcoholic.

So of course we met at a bar. Where else do AA-attending folks meet first dates? Wine and water, respectively.

Normal pleasantries for an hour or so. He gives me a weird stalker, rapey vibe. I get a text from my ladies that they want to have a drink in an hour, and I gladly accept.

I walk him back to his car parked on First Street downtown. I ask him to make out a little. I’m both turned on by the possibility of touching his wide shoulders and seeing his tattoos as I am nervous about being abducted and ass raped.

He opens the passenger-side door and puts the seat down as far as possible. I climb in and he follows. Heavy petting action with two 6’+ adults is exciting yet frustrating. The exhilaration of feeling like a naughty teenager gets me wet.

He pulls up my dress and rubs his hard cock against my panties. More wet.

He tells me to turn over and gasps at both my ass and my tats.

“Oh my god, I’m going to see that ass again.”

He just confirmed it in my mind.

We stop momentarily and he opens the door and exits. Standing on the street, he unzips his fly and I pull out his hard cock. His chest is pressed against the top of the open car, and with the door shielding him from one side, I take his cock in my hand and then in my mouth.

I get his shaft wet and then suck on the head while giving him a hand job all in unison.

I look up and he’s looking back and forth down the street to watch for passersby.

I switch up and fondle his balls while taking him in as deep as possible. He has a hard time watching out.

My phone rings and I let it go to voicemail.

Remembering I am an upstanding member of this community, I stop after a few minutes. The fun and adventure was had.

He drives me around the corner to the wine bar where I plan to meet my friends. Before I exit, I return the call from one of my girls that I’m going to meet. He yells loudly during my call.

“Sorry she didn’t answer. She had a dick in her mouth on First Street!”

I burst out laughing, end the call, say goodnight and walk to the bar. I get a glass of wine and am sitting, waiting for my friends.

“Technically, if I come pick you up it would be a second date.”

“‘Good try, clever guy, but nope!”

“Pulled over. Look down the street.”

“Nope. Sitting with a glass of wine waiting for my ladies to turn up. Jesus! When was the last time you had sex?!?”

“This afternoon.”

“Let me clarify…with someone other than yourself. Speaking of which, I very much appreciate you perfuming your cock. You tasted clean and fresh and lovely.”

“At least you know I’ll last extra long. I guess it’s your call. I’ll spend the night and leave early in the morning. I’ll fuck you in the morning too.”

“I think I’ve already made the call. I do want to fuck you, just not tonight.”

“Still here, maybe your girls need to help push you to make a bad decision to lead to a great time.”

“Ok creeper! You are now losing points…”

“Take one of those pills that make you chill.”

“Hilarious! Ok now I like you more.”

“Well you can imagine my relief.”

“You haven’t even begun to imagine anything with me, darling…I think sky is gonna be the limit…what’s beyond the sky?”

“My butt hole is beyond the sky.”

“The fact that you welcome things in your butt makes me so horny for you…”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“No, darling, not everyone wants things in their butt. Esp straight guys, but you continue to intrigue me which is fantastic. I’m often bored. I have enjoyed fingers in my butt, dicks not so much but again I’m out exploring. You’d have to promise to be gentle with me.”

“I promise to only make you scream in pleasure.”