Category Archives: Fuck


I met MegaDon on an online dating app that predominantly attracts older men and younger women. It works equally well for 40-something men and 20-something women as it did in my case – just add 20 years to both parties.

When he sent me his photo, he looked familiar, but I couldn’t place how or why. 68, 6′, the sexiest waves of white locks combed back but still fluffy and full, matching beard, wide smile with a body built by swimming, the sun, wine and a privileged life.

Once I recognized who he was, I was shocked and excited all at once. A local celebrity for sure and, within the family business, he was famous internationally for the industry-changing impacts his father and grandfather made. Truly his father was MegaDon – Don being a reference to the “Boss” in the Italian mob hierarchy. The family wasn’t mafia as far as I knew, but they ruled the land I now called home for many, many decades. With his father passed on (and my personal neglect for his older brother), this new sexy man who walked into my life took the naming rights. I’ll just call him Don for short.

Don first asked me to come to his house for drinks and dinner. After I explained my safety rule #1 – first dates always in public – he made us a reservation at a nearby Italian restaurant with a famed chef at the helm.

“I believe that the chances of us getting through drinks and a meal together, and then wanting to get together for even more is quite high!”

We were seated at a cozy crescent moon-shaped booth and sat at the 11 and 1 positions quite close for a first date. It was December and I wore black jeans, black boots and heavy but fitted grey sweater. He wore the mature man’s dressy casual – khaki slacks, button down long sleeve and V-neck sweater.

The sommelier addressed him properly by Mr. ‘Last Name’ and Don approved of his choice of a 2012 Grand Vin Pomerol for us to enjoy over our meal. There wasn’t a pause in our conversation all evening except when a random man heading toward the bathroom recognized him, stopped and said, “Hello ‘Don’ – great to see you. I enjoyed my recent visit to your ‘business.'” Don acknowledged him with a nod, thanked him and the man continued on.

We talked about the local industry, music, food, travel, family. He told his story quite modestly. Don was an alumnus of the local university which boasts a top tier program in our industry. Following, he was sent by his father abroad to learn more before returning home in the early 1970s to help run the family business. I actually felt lucky that I personally did not know the story (there are books about his family) and I could hear it firsthand in his own words and through his own experience.

At the end of the meal, he tried, tried again and invited me back to his house for a night cap. I reminded him of safety rule #1, but I didn’t want the night to end. I suggested a night cap at the bar and we enjoyed a fantastic Amaro – something I had neither heard of nor tasted previously.

As the evening wound down, he walked me to my car and we paused to next to it to continue our conversations. It was hard to say good-bye.

By his smiles, laughs, casual brushes and touches against my arm all evening and well of course the invite back to his, I knew he was into me. When he leaned in and only gave me a hug, I was a bit bolder than usual and asked him for a kiss. He smiled, placed his hand on my upper back and affirmed my request.

It will go down as one of the most bizarre first kisses I had ever experienced.

It had no natural rhythm or cadence. I couldn’t figure out the timing of when to open and close my mouth. And his tongue was beating to its own drummer. I learned during subsequent meetings to just give up on the rhythm and let him lead the lip locking party. Sometimes committing to awkward lengths of an open mouth, eventually I figured out his style.

As strange as it was, I was intrigued – I’ll admit slightly star struck as well. I was curious about a man 25 years older than me (he was and still is the oldest I’ve ever dated), but also genuinely interested in him and wanted to spend more time together. He was sexy as hell, interesting to talk to and I was already learning a bunch – and drinking practically untouchable wines (by their price points).

It wasn’t long before I got the second date invite to his house or rather his estate. It was tucked behind some high rolling hills – a solid 5 minute drive from the main road – through vineyards and olive groves. I passed land worker housing and a production facility led by periodic posted signs with his house number. It eventually took me to a one lane drive, which climbed and wound passed thick tree growth. The coded gate was open for me and when I crested the final hill the view that was unveiled was amazing to behold.

I could see the eastern mountains in the distance. Vineyards flanked the long drive on either side and the asphalt turned to tan and white pebbles, lush grass to the right and a house all on one level spanning in both directions. I wasn’t exactly sure where the front door was.

I parked, and collected myself and my belongings. Since Christmas was near, I brought him a Christmas Cactus. I wouldn’t dare bring wine but it felt fitting, respectful and grateful to bring something. I wanted it to be thoughtful and personal.

My mom had bought me a Christmas Cactus when I was little. It sat on my bedroom window sill all year long and had thick green leaves – a bit holly-like but with rounded edges rather than pointy ones. Only in the winter did beautiful deep pink flowers emerge and this one I gave him was in bloom. He was outwardly appreciative, but I had a lingering thought that my $8 gift fell short.

He asked me if I would like a Negroni. I was embarrassed that I had never heard of the drink. This offer started at least what is now a four year obsession. I only drink them the way he made them – Bombay Sapphire with a fresh orange juice splash. Bitter sweet.

He had started preparations for dinner – what he termed his “Man Meals.” This was a random collection of one protein plus whatever veggies and starch was in season from a local farm market stand at the indoor culinary hall in town. He had known the owners, his contemporaries, for decades – naturally. He would typically throw everything on a sheet tray, drizzle with olive oil and salt and roast.

He had also laid out a simple array of local cheeses, crackers and nuts to nibble on.

It was dark and cold outside so we sat by the fireplace in the large expansive kitchen that included a well out fitted cooking area. Indoor grill top, two sink areas, built in wine fridge and counter tops that went on for days. This all opened to a dining area – rustic circular table which could seat eight comfortably plus wood fireplace and seating area with a long white couch, two individual chairs, coffee table and work desk in the corner. There was a butler door leading to the formal dining room, walk-in pantry and the longest sliding glass doors that accordioned open to bring the outside in during warmer months.

We sipped our Negronis and enjoyed the hot fire on our backs. He looked so handsome by firelight – glowing embers reflecting on his face. I can hardly remember what we talked about.

Each time he crossed and uncrossed his legs, he used it as an opportunity to move closer in until finally he leaned in to kiss me. Still just as strange, but I was starting to get the hang of it. He paused and pulled back for a moment.

“Ohhh baby!”

I smiled. “Why thank you!”

I was helping him finish up dinner and get ready to plate everything when he told me he needed to go and check on the trees outside, talk to them and see how they were doing that day. I was puzzled because he told this story with such a serious, straight face. He opened the sliding door at the farthest end and disappeared into the night. After hearing this story several times over the next few weeks, my brains synapsis finally connected that he was going outside to pee.

He came back in.


He disappeared down the hall and then down a set of stairs. After a few minutes he reemerged with a bottle of 2008 Nebbiolo. He popped it and poured it right into our glasses set at the table.

Then he joined me in the kitchen, pulled the plates from the warming drawer and plated salmon, leeks, carrots, broccolini and fingering potatoes. Dinner always included an unusually large selection of vegetables.

We ate, we talked, we drank, we listened to music playing on the speakers mounted across the room. The fire in the distance kept the space cozy and the light dim. We sat there for a long while enjoying each other’s company and finally the last drops of wine went in to each of our glasses. He invited me back to the fireplace to enjoy it only we didn’t do much talking after that.

He sat right next to me in front of the fire and picked up my legs to drape over his. He put his hand on my cheek and gave me a very deep, very open mouthed kiss. I let him lead and I was getting more than hot from the fire.

“Would you like to continue this in my bedroom?”

I nodded.

He led me down a long corridor passed the formal living room, formal dining room, and the front door which I had entered when I arrived. Then passed perhaps three or four or maybe more closed doors, which I assume were bedrooms. When the hall took a sharp left, we took a right through slightly open double doors, down three steps to his sunken master bedroom. It had large floor to ceiling windows, a fireplace and a king bed. He sat on a chair to remove his boots and clothing. I did the same at the edge of the bed.

He was slim and quite toned – a swimmer’s body. Moderately hairy chest with salt and pepper fuzz. He had pecs, bis and I could even see definition in his abs. His cock was quite long and slender.

He met me where I sat, bent down slightly putting both hands on either side of my thighs and began kissing me while pushing me backward on the bed. I laid down and started to slide backward toward the top of the bed when he put his hands on my thighs and squeezed gently to signal me to stop.

He knelt on the floor at the edge of the bed, coaxed my hips to the edge and buried his beard in my pussy. A little forceful at the start, he read the movement of my hips and my breathing and found his rhythm there. I was concerned about all the wine and gin being an obstacle to my orgasm, but his dedicated efforts were quite successful in the end.

After several minutes of grinding my hips to the tune of his tongue on my clit, I could feel the rush of my orgasm coming. I pressed forward into his face, arched my back and exploded. I kept my expletives G-rated this evening not knowing how he might react. He hadn’t really thrown out many F- or S-bombs since we met.

As I was coming down, writhing and twitching, he pushed me slightly forward so I was fully on the bed, climbed on top of me and thrust his hard, long cock into my soaking pussy. He laid his chest on mine and I put my arms around his back to pull him close. His groans were guttural and deep. His cock was so long that with his most enthusiastic thrusts he could go no further inside of me – an instant of enjoyable pain I had never experienced.

He didn’t hold back verbally when he came – rose up off my chest and with one last enthusiastic pump, came, screamed wordless noises from the depths of his insides. He pulled out and flopped next to me on the bed. He pulled the blankets down and we tucked in. He put his hand on the side of my head as I was adjusting so it lay on his chest.

“My god, you sexy woman!”

I smiled and we sat there quietly enjoying our skin contact and heavy breathing coming back to normal.

Eventually he asked if I’d like a rinse. He led me to his bathroom which was up three steps on the other side of the bed from the three steps leading into and out of the bedroom.

It had two sinks, master jacuzzi tub that would easily fit two, a toilet room with a door, a glass shower and doorway leading to his walk-in closet. He turned on the water in the shower and invited me in. He picked up a shower sponge, pumped some lavender soap on it and began washing me from head to toe. He pressed his chest to my back, reached around and washed my chest with the sponge while kissing my neck.

I felt like I had stepped into a sexy movie scene.

We finished up, dried off, redressed and he walked me out to my car. He told me what a lovely time he had and that he hoped we could do it again soon. I agreed. He knelt down to give me a quick kiss while I sat in the driver’s seat of my car with the door open.

I drove home in a fog.

“The moon is rising above the mountains. Your parting kiss raises my hopes of seeing you again.”

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The Irishman that Taught Me to Love Trans Porn

I met the Irishman (aka Blarney) in the summer of 2017 on Tinder, Feeld – I don’t recall which. His lean body type wasn’t really my style, but his brain was very intriguing. I’m calling him Blarney because a few months into knowing each other he went back to Ireland to visit his family and brought me a piece of the Blarney Stone, which I still proudly display on my fireplace mantle as ‘culture.’

Gardener by day, thespian by night, he lived in a flat in the city with two other roommates. Late 30s, very pale, long and bony with a treasure trail of hair from his chest to his pot o’ gold. He would take care of rich people’s gardens in the daytime and then acted in plays at night and on the weekends. He was really Irish with a sexy accent and all his family back in the Old Country. He was also quite effeminate and very bi-friendly and curious. This all added up to quite a fun and dramatic persona.

I first met Blarney in the city at a dive bar. He ordered whiskey. We talked effortlessly for three hours about everything from plants to Ireland to cooking to family to sexual exploits.

It took us awhile to organize a second date, but we kept up on text – mostly about the sexual exploits. I was on the dating scene exploring like a modern Magellan at the time.

“I’ve been chatting a lil with a bi friendly guy.”

“Hmmmm. Is he cute?”

“Yes, I haven’t met him yet, but told him about you. He told me he wanted me to teach him to suck dick using you as the test subject :)”

“Oh my fucking god. I’ve actually done this once before a lady. It’s so hot. If he’s cute and in shape, I’d be up for it for sure…You have all kinds of wild thoughts in my head woman…there is something really hot about talking about this with you.”

“I like that you are bi friendly and kinky and into some dress up time. I’d really enjoy exploring that with you…”

“Me too! I better launder my lingerie…”

“Oh pls do!! I’ll do the same :)”

“Lingerie party!! …ahem, do you ever watch porn?”

“You betcha!”

“Ever watch trans ladies?”

“No! That sounds interesting…”

“Lots of cute little femme tranie gals. Maybe we could watch together sometime and get off at the same time! Some of them barely have breast and are really just super femme guys with girly faces. Something about them really turns me on…sort of gender neutral types I guess…”

On our second meet-up, he came to me late on a Saturday afternoon right after I moved into my new house. My living room was quite sparse with just a TV and a futon cushion on the floor acting poorly as a couch. I had a barely stable, old IKEA wood table and four chairs outside on the deck.

Dusk had nearly arrived when he did and I already had a bottle of wine open for us to enjoy. We took it out back to view the fading colors of the setting sun.

After a glass, he launched in a soliloquy from the latest production he was in. I could barely keep up with what he was saying as he twirled around the deck, gestured demonstratively and abruptly stopped all motion at the end of most sentences.

When he was finished, I gave him an enthusiastic round of applause and a wide grin. He leaned down to me sitting in the chair and gave me a soft, wet kiss in appreciation.

As the sun disappeared, it got a little chilly so we moved back in to the house. Before I could even get the wine set down in the kitchen, he coyly asked if he could put on a pair of my panties. Oh hell yes, I wanted to see where this would go, and more importantly, if it would turn me on. I could say at the time I had never been asked that question by a man.

He picked out a sheer pink pair with a fuchsia lace trim. With his slim frame, the medium fit him perfectly well being just a little snug in the front for obvious reasons. You would have thought he had put on a superman cape or a queen’s gown! He instantaneously turned into a different person – giddy, light on his toes prancing around the living room, running his hands over his chest, humming a tune – happy.

It was a turn on to watch.

“Thank you for celebrating my little inner queen with me.”

“My pleasure.”

“Let me show you those nice trans femme ladies I was talking about.”

We went to a porn site online on my phone and then cast it to the TV.

She was dark olive-skinned with quite large, perfectly round breast implants, very slim with long, dark hair, long thin legs, painted nails and a bit of an over painted face. I don’t even recall what the guy looked like – who cared? I wanted to see her in action. I had never seen a trans woman naked before.

She was lying on the bed – every bit of hair removed except what was on her head. The camera angle was from the bottom corner of the bed looking up and from the side at her. He came from the end of the bed and crawled up and over her. She put her hands on either side of his face and moved it directly over her cock. She slid his mouth right over her hard dick and directed it by pulling it up and down. Her cock was long and slim to complement her body. Her moans were high-pitched and she gave him lots of direction and encouragement.

“Just like that daddy.”

She stopped him, pulled her legs up to expose her ass and he dove in with his cock. The camera zoomed in and filled the screen with his wide cock plunging in and out of her ass. Hers was open, hairless – a perfect round hole for his fucking hard peg.

She was still hard and began stroking herself.

Good fucking god it was so hot to watch. Blarney had been playing with me during this entire time, but I could hardly pay attention. I was on my back on the flattened futon cushion and he had buried his face in my pussy. The visual and physical overstimulation was amazing.

She started stroking faster and yelling louder. He went harder pounding her ass.

She came first – all over her big round tits. He followed and when he pulled out, the camera went right in to capture the cum dripping out of her ass.

The video stopped and now that I could concentrate on Blarney I was bound to explode in record time.

My mind was racing over what I had just watched. I closed my eyes and replayed the entire video again watching her exploding on herself while rocking back and forth to his fucking her ass. Blarney coupled with the images on the back on my eyeballs was too much to control. My back arched and I pulled my pussy back away from his mouth as I screamed through my orgasm. Grabbed my left breast and cupped my soaking pussy while I spasmed. Once I came out of that trance-like high and opened my eyes, I looked down to the widest smile on his face.

“Wow – thank you. That was fucking amazing in so many ways.”

Those images are on repeat in my mind to this day during sex with and without a partner, and continually have me seeking out trans and gay porn when the mood strikes.

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Nerdie & Princess Leia

If you pull out the bottom drawer of my dresser, you’ll see a curiously large number of ziploc bags each with different colored clothing in them. These are my sexy costumes and lingerie – not the ones you get at the Halloween stores that pop up every year in a super-sized empty strip mall store front, but from a proper online sex shop.

Nerdie loves me in costumes and good thing is, I love to dress up for him! We accumulated so many outfits that it was impossible to tell them apart, never mind tear them apart, when I wanted to wear one. The velcro of my school girl plaid skirt stuck to the cowgirl halter top. The long straps of my ninja costume that attach at the hip of the booty short onesie and wrap around each leg hopelessly intertwined with my French maid dress.

So organization by ziploc it was.

Nerdie’s favorite outfit by far is me as Princess Leia. He is nerdy after all.

It has only three pieces. A brown triangle bikini top with a sown-on gold pattern. A long brown pleated skirt with a slit on either side all the way up to the 5″ gold waistband. A gold choker with a plastic chain connected to a wristband.

My hair is only just below shoulder length, but I do my best making tiny little buns on each side of my head before sauntering out from the bedroom, wrapping my leg around the wall so Nerdie can see from the living room that I’m ready for him to take me back to his Tatooine prison.

On this episode of Return of the Jedi, I got into bed perched on my knees so Nerdie could see my thighs all the way up to my hips exposed from each side of the skirt. He walked through the bedroom door and I grabbed each tit and squeezed while looking him straight-faced and dead in the eye.

He jumped on the bed, put his left hand on my throat with a gentle squeeze and gave me a wide, open-mouthed kiss. He paused for a moment and told me to lay down at the top of the bed. He pushed my knees apart with his and leaned over to continue kissing me while pressing his hard cock against the outside of my vagina over the skirt. Rubbing back and forth, I lifted my legs so the pressure was directly on my clit.

With purpose and swiftness, he pushed my skirt to one side, slid down the bed and buried his face in my pussy. Using little more than the tip of his tongue, with a rapid flick, I could feel my clit swell and my hips start to move. I took just a moment to look down and see the sexy sight of his face just from the bridge of the nose up, arms wrapped around my thighs holding on to feel my rythmn.

He got me well under way and himself all worked up. He came up, pulled one of the triangles of bra material to the side and filled his mouth with my breast then tugged on the chain connecting the choker to my wrist. He sat up and with little warning plunged his cock into my wet pussy.

This is my favorite part.

I love watching his cock be buried inside of me. A quick withdrawal then his hard, wide, veiny specimen disappears repeatedly, over and over again, inside. The feeling at the entrance of my pussy tingles and the repetitive motion keeps me dripping.

His groaning and heavy breathing is barely louder than mine.

He pulls out to finish me off returning to eat my pussy. With all the excitement, it takes me no time to feel the build up of pressure in advance of my orgasm. I erupt in expletives and for a moment, two, a zillion years, I’m on another plane – out of body pleasure as my body jerks and spasms without warning.

He comes up, wipes his mouth with his arm and plunges right back in. I can feel the noticeable difference in how easily he slides in and out of me, pounding down so I take in his entire cock.

He quiets for a moment and I glance up to see a tremendous concentration in his furrowed brow.

Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound.

Explosion. Expletives. Collapse.

We spend a moment lying next to each other catching our breath. I noticed I had broken the chain of the choker to wrist component of the costume and there are love juices on my skirt and a wet patch on the bed.

We smile, cuddle, kiss, laugh and I’m so grateful to have such a satisfied and fulfilled sex life with my husband.

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Champion & Otter

I wrote an intro story about Champion last fall. This is a continuation to that story. Should you wish to read the first story, you may find it here.

It didn’t take long for Champion to find that contestant for an MMF and he set up a drinks date for the three of us in a small town midway between ours and his. It was an old school, frontier-themed establishment with lots of dark wood and Prohibition cocktails. I felt it was a perfect venue for alternative dates and sex conversations.

If you are not familiar with the term ‘Otter,’ it refers to a hairy gay man that has an athletic or slimmer build than a ‘Bear,’ which describes a larger, hairy gay man.

Champion found us an Otter.

He was in his late 30s, married and helping to raise a daughter from his husband’s previous relationship. Seemed to live a taken-care-of lifestyle as a teacher and husband to a high-powered PR exec. Tall, more on the muscular side of otter with an amazingly wide smile, great sense of humor and all that yummy chest hair I could see saying hello to me at the top of his button-down shirt.

Once at the bar, I sat in the middle. Champion was equally excited and nervous about taking this big first step on this particular item from his sex to-do list. Putting me between him and Otter created a safe, defensible space should he have some crazy freak out and need to run or bike away quickly.

Thankfully though we all hit it off immediately. Great, easy conversation about work, life, our primary relationships. I thought Otter was incredibly charming and super cute. I just hope Champion was thinking the same thing.

After 2-3 drinks and a few apps, they were both moving closer to me. Otter crossed his leg and his knee just barely rested up against the bottom of my right thigh. On the other side, Champion’s foot was playing a slow game of footsie with mine.

Then, Otter asked the question on everyone’s mind.

“So what do we think about a second date?”

I was an enthusiastic two-thumbs up so replied first – positively, but cautiously because I didn’t want to make Champion feel uncomfortable if he was a no deal.

“Yeah, I’d like to too,” was Champion’s response given with a little nervous smile.

Then we got to the good parts as I’m sure anyone nearby who overheard would agree – the how, what, when, and where of a second date.

Schedules would be the challenge with both of them having kids, but we decided to get a hotel room in another nearby town one late afternoon. The guys would split the charges and I’d bring some libations and snacks.

We started talking about what everyone felt comfortable with doing once together. Otter was extremely gracious and thoughtful understanding that this would be Champion’s first time with a man. I was up for nearly anything, but Champion wanted to keep it light with his rear activity. I expressed my interest in having everyone interact – that pile of body parts grabbing, kissing, sucking, groping I so desired. Champion said he was ok with all of that and even expressed interest in kissing Otter. I could barely wait! If I wasn’t wearing pants at that moment, my pussy would have been dripping on the bar floor I was so excited.

We agreed on a date and location and wrapped up our evening. As we all walked to the parking lot, we stopped to hug and say goodbye. Instead of a hug from Otter, I got his big, full lips planted on mine. They were so lush and the way he moved his mouth was amazing. We were in a sexy, wet rhythm. I also didn’t realize how much it would turn me on that Champion was watching. Otter grabbed the back of my head and pressed me further in to him.

The other guests leaving the bar must have thought it a strange scene for a woman to be making out with one man while a second watched. Really I hoped it turned them on as much as it did me!

Otter pulled away and we both smiled. Champion expressed his pleasure at watching and we all said good night and went back to our cars. Since Champion and I lived in the same town, he drove and when we got back to his car as soon as the doors closed, he leaned over, grabbed my face with both his hands and gave me a long, passionate kiss. I moved my hand over his thigh and gave a firm grab to the bulging cock under his pants.

On the back of my eyelids, in that moment, I saw the three of us in bed rolling around in a pile of fucking. I wish I could have fucked Champion in the back seat right then to relieve my sexual tension, but I was denied – not in the car where he shuttles his wife and kids. FUCK!

The several weeks until the hotel date seemed to drip by so slowly.

When the day finally arrived, Champion once again picked me up and we drove about 45 minutes to meet up with Otter. He was already in the room. I opened up some wine while we settled in and chit-chatted. Otter was playing to stay the night because his husband and step-daughter were out of town.

Once everyone felt a little lubricated mentally, Otter got up from the desk chair he was sitting in to come closer to me. Champion was already sitting on the other side of me on the bed.

It was summer and I was wearing a relatively short sundress that of course became shorter when I sat on the bed.

Otter leaned over me, pulled my chin up to turn my head toward him and he started giving me those amazing full, wet lips. Inspired, Champion ran his hand over my chest, under the dress and my bra and gave my left breast a big squeeze. He started kissing my neck then put his hand under the bottom of my dress and began rubbing my pussy over my panties.

All the sensations and hands on me were fucking hot. I was loving that they just took over me and were doing what they wanted.

Otter pushed me back on the bed, looked at Champion and they both leaned over and starting kissing right above me. Champion took a handful of Otter’s hairy pec. Otter took a handful of Champion’s cock and began stroking it.

I couldn’t help but start rubbing my clit while I watched this live gay porn scene unfold in front of me.

They stopped and turned all their focus on me. I was quickly being undressed from both ends. Otter was pulling my dress over my head and taking off my bra while Champion removed my panties. He spread my legs, pushed my knees up and went right in on my lips. Otter grabbed my tits and started kissing me again. At the same time, Champion reached up for a handful of Otter’s hard cock. I strained to see him stroke him from the corner of my eye.

After that it was hard to keep up with the frenzy of activity, but I felt like Goldi-cocks with a buffet in front of me.

At one point, Champion was fucking me while I was on my back. Otter came over and put his cock in my mouth. I loved the challenge of riding up and back while trying to keep Otter’s cock in.

Then Otter moved down and with Champion leaning over me pumping me back and forth, he put his cock in Champion’s mouth.

They got into a rhythm until Champion needed a break. Otter took his place, flipped me over on to all fours and was thrusting so hard I’m sure our hotel room neighbors could hear the slapping of his thighs against my ass.

Champion saw an opportunity and came around the bed and thrust his cock in my mouth. He paused his body and just let the rhythm of Otter pushing me forward and back take over. My moans of pleasure muffled by Champion deep in my mouth.

We did just about every configuration of them sucking each other, fucking me, me sucking them, everyone making out, groping bodies that came to anyone’s mind in the moment.

Otter then tapped out for a break and watched as I rode Champion – pushing off my knees to bob straight up and down on his cock. His breath quickened and got louder, which only inspired me to go faster and come down harder on his dick. I could hear Otter starting to stroke his own cock sitting in the desk chair across the room.

Champion’s whole body tensed and then explosively released. I bent down to give him a tender kiss on the neck before I moved my attention back to Otter. I went over, knelt on the floor in front of him and took his cock in my mouth while being sure that Champion, still lying spent on the bed, could watch my ass from behind.

After a few moments, Otter pulled me up and told me to get on the bed. He fucked me fast and hard missionary-style until he collapsed on my chest.

“I haven’t fucked a woman in over 20 years! That was amazing!”

“And I’ve never fucked a gay guy!”

We all burst out laughing. I felt lucky to have played that role.

Since Champion was more familiar with my body, Otter let him finish me off while he watched.

If someone had set a countdown, I doubt it would have made it from 30 to 0 before I came. What a fucking hot evening, I was stretched and dripping and exhausted and satisfied.

We all sat on the bed naked afterward chatting and drinking a celebratory glass of wine before Champion and I packed up and left Otter in the room for the night.

On our next 1:1 date, Champion told me that he had fun that night, but no desire for a repeat session. Damn! I got Otter’s What’s App number from Champion, but Otter and I never did connect on our own. It would have been such fun to be a gay guy’s fuck buddy.

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My Teenage Erotica

I was cleaning out the garage recently and found a stack of old journals and notebooks from my teenage and college years. I wrote a lot of poetry back then. It was my outlet because I didn’t feel like I had anyone in my family to talk to. By the time I was 12, my parents were divorced and each back on the dating scene and my sister and brother were both already off to college. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time alone from age 12-18.

I started my first journal in 1991 – my sophomore year of high school. I find some of the entries absolutely hilarious filled with who my crush-of-the-week was, tales of sports adventures and the usual overdose of teenage angst. I imagine the entries would be quite boring to anyone else so I’ll spare retyping them here. Although if I do find some particularly funny ones, I may post them.

In between the entries was all the poetry. Again, filled will all the who-cares teenage drama, but one thing I didn’t remember from more than 30 years ago – I started writing erotica back then – at age 14!

Some of these I WOULD like to share with you.

I had quite the imagination, especially for someone that hadn’t even had sex yet. That came the year later at age 15.

Rereading these myself I am transported back into my teenage brain – emotional, chaotic, very much not fully formed and for sure trying to seem clever with over complicated word choices. So you may read these and think they are cheesy, and yes they are, but I can also see a flicker. This light that has developed into what is now my Big Bang of sexual and emotional awakening that started nearly seven years ago now. So silly or not, I hope you enjoy reading the erotica of a 14 year old!

Poem #6
With half-closed eyes, my mouth drops
I wait for the night to fall
As your creeping hand drips down my leg
Actions dance on my mind
Your liquid melts me
Now it’s easy to forget my fear
The dark hides me from reality.

Poem #17
Your sun illuminates my body
And I feel so warm
When you shine
That my body glistens
As droplets slither down my neck
And run past mountains
Of spirit and desire.
And your image
Haunts my daily thoughts
And nightly desires.
To touch my moist lips to your chest
Is an ever-growing fantasy
I wish to fulfill
During a nightly encounter.
You have been torturing me for too long.
You have bound me with your chains and shackles
Taunting me with your hands.
Yet you never get close enough for me to…

Poem #32
I ache for you to clench my shoulders
Within your fists hard
And slam me against a wall in agony
My urges being executed.
I want to get next to you.
I know what is in your mind.
I want it, pain.
This desire eats my insides
Like an acid your might
Pour down my throat.
Cleave me bare.
Madly run your hands over me.
I can feel you hot inside of me.
You blind me with fire
Burning me to a pinnacle
Working your natural fetish.
I glisten from this thing.
A droplet snaking over the cliff down to the plains.
There is no turning back
After your words and acts.
Tomorrow I’d like to be you.

Poem #46
You know my guts.
I’m so full of you
It runs down my chest and over my ribs.
The more you’re wrong
The more I want you.
When we’re alone
I can’t talk
For fear you would say a word
That would make my longing body
Everyone says I can’t have you.
I know I shouldn’t.
I have to have you one night.
Don’t talk to me.

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Diamonds: Reunited

If you have been following the Diamonds series, you’ll know I’m not completely caught up to the present. I still have a few missing years to write about. Nevertheless, I’m going to skip ahead to this year and the time we spent together last month mostly so I don’t forget all the details.

It was the usual family visit. Flew back with Nerdie for the big New Year’s Day Bash at my sister’s. This year, or I should say last year, it was on December 30. Diamonds didn’t come to the party. He has lost touch with my brother-in-law over the years, but I think more so he was trying to be respectful to me, Nerdie and my family.

After a week on the East Coast, Nerdie flew back home. I stayed another three weeks awaiting several wine events at the end of the month before coming home. Over that time, I got to see Diamonds four times.

It finally felt like it used to. Connected.

You will know more about what that exactly means when I write about our time together in 2022. It was not very connected at all. In short, I had a boyfriend in California at the time, and he was not at all ok with Diamonds. It distracted my brain from being present with him. It had also been two years since I had seen Diamonds because of the pandemic. It was kind of funky and awkward. I look back with a bit of sadness that that time we had together then wasn’t the way it had been.

But I am so thankful we reunited and reconnected so well this year.

We made plans on a Saturday. I told my family I was going to hang out with some new wine buyers who happened to live in the area.

“I can’t wait to see you and touch you tomorrow.”

“I was thinking about that today u climbing on me and wrapping ur arms around my neck and me wrapping my arms around your body.”

“That will happen for sure 🙂 What story should I make up for tomorrow? lol”

“Tell them u need a chocolate cuddle. I wish I could squeeze you right now…and squeeze ur butt lol”

“On my way”

“Ok door is open sweetums”

I was eager and anxious to arrive. Just a 20 minute drive that seemed like eternity. I parked and walked up the flight of stairs to his condo, opened the door, and took a big inhale of his scent that permeated the living room.

I missed Diamonds. I felt a sense comfort and home.

His place was one I had been to for years. Great memories of hang out sessions previous. Sitting by the sliding glass door on low stools. Me wrapped in an afghan his sister made – blue and tan. A third stool holding the slice of pizza ashtray, pack of Parliaments, a lighter and our beverages – mine a hard iced tea, his tequila and ginger ale – with his black plastic tool box filled with his cannabis stash and smoking tools on the floor next to him. We would sit there for hours and hours talking, smoking, drinking and listening to music.

He came out out the master bedroom at the end of a long hallway. We locked eyes. Both of us with the widest smiles. I ran a few steps to him and threw my arms around his neck. Pulled back and then went in for a taste of those big, juicy lips. They were just as I had remembered them. Sweet, full, with passion.

We stepped back and just started laughing, so excited to see one another.

We moved everything in to place by the sliding glass door and fell right into a usual space. Made ourselves drinks and started smoking and talking.

He pulled one of my legs up onto his and started rubbing my calf, then my thigh. I leaned in for a kiss and it got heated quick.

“I want a taste of those pretty pink lips.”

He motioned to the L section of the couch with his head.

I stood up and took off my sweater, tank top and bra. He grabbed me while still seated and enveloped my entire left breast with his mouth then tickled my nipple with his tongue. His thick hands on my back pressing me into his face.

I stepped back and undid my belt buckle, button and zipper. Pulled my jeans to the floor and moved over to the couch.

I laid back keeping my ass at the edge of the cushion. He knelt in front of me, pulled my legs over his shoulder and went right in on my pussy.

I was so excited I knew it wasn’t going to take me long.

His full lips and the wetness of both his mouth and my pussy felt like a flood. I moved my hips in sync with his mouth. Spreading my legs as far open as they would go so he could get his tongue and lips right on my clit.

POV porn filled the back of my eye lids.

I was looking down while holding on to her hips. Pulling them back and forth while her pussy swallowed my hard cock. I slid in easily. The curve of her ass hitting my lower stomach. That clap got louder as I pumped faster.

I pulled out just with the tip remaining in so I could see my shiny, wet cock. As I started sliding it back in, I could feel my swollen clit ready to explode. My breath quickened. He was in the right spot. I could feel my orgasm coming up. Up. Up. Up.

I screamed out loud. “Fuckkkkkk!”

I wish he was ready to plunge into me, but he was still fully clothed. It was always his way to tease me. And himself. To wait until later to give me his cock.

As I came down, he pulled away and wiped his face. He was smiling and so was I. I missed that.

“I’m hungry!”

I cracked up laughing. “I thought you just ate!”

We went out for sushi. I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. A few drinks, lots of laughs and food.

By the time we came back to his place it was dusk. We went right back to what we were doing when I arrived. Made drinks and started moving toward the stools by the door for a smoke. He asked Alexa to play some Chris Brown.

I told him I brought a few pieces he had bought me in previous years. A dark purple plum lace thong. I loved the way I looked in it. Hugging my hips. Sexy lace. Making all the purples in my tattoos pop. Also a little set he got me – dark pumpkin in color. Similar lace thong with flowers printed on it. Racer back top with a little push up and lace running along the bottom all the way around my ribs.

I modeled them both starting with the purple thong. I danced and twirled around watching myself in the living room mirror. Really not bad for 46. Those dimples on either side of my spin at my lower back are really sexy af. Perky little tits with big pink nipples. And a healthy, round, more than a handful of ass.

After I took the purple thong off, I hung it on the Christmas tree that was still up post-holiday. It blended in with the colorful, tightly packed decorations and bright lights.

Then I put on the orange set with a big soft hoodie over top that he gave me to stay warm by the open sliding glass door. I sat cross-legged on my stool with the afghan blanket.

After a few hours of drinking, smoking, talking, listening to music and periodic kisses and some groping, a sexy song came on. I stood up and took off the hoodie. Started accentuating my hips moving them side to side. Twirling around. Dancing back to him with my eyes locked to his.

I put my hands on his thighs and went in for a kiss. He put both of his big hands right on either ass cheek and squeezed so hard it made me fall into him. I straddled his legs and started grinding my pussy against his cock, which I could feel getting swollen under his pants.

As soon as I couldn’t take it any longer, I stood up without a word and walked down the hallway to the bedroom stripping off clothes along the way. I jumped on the bed perpendicular with my ass at the edge and my feet on the bed frame below.

He walked into the room already half undressed throwing his clothes wherever. He grabbed my hips and pulled my ass further toward him so it was hanging off the bed slightly, then pushed right up on me and slid his cock in. It felt thick and hard.

He held my hips tight as he pumped me. His breath and moans got louder.

“Oh god!”

Faster still. His upper thighs clapped against my ass. I straightened my legs, ankles on either side of his face. He put his arms around them and kissed my ankle then held on to my thighs for leverage.

He slid in and out so easily. I felt my pussy dripping down my ass. I wish I had his POV then.

He made one long hard thrust and exploded.


His body started shaking and twitching, which shook me as he still had his arms wrapped around my legs.

He stiffened, squeezed my legs and then slowly pulled himself out. Collapsed on the bed next to me. Body still involuntarily twitching as he came down.

“Fuck that felt good.”

“I’m glad.” With a big satisfied grin on my face.

I turned over and pressed my body against his side. Ran my hand over his smooth wide chest. Kissed his cheek. He wrapped his arm under me and around my back pulling me closer.

We sat there quietly for some time. I felt so good. So reconnected. So close.

We eventually got up, picked up the clothes strewn across the floor and down the hallway, cleaned up in the bathroom and went back out to the living room.

Several more hours of drinking, smoking, talking and listening to music flew by. It was 11PM and I had to get back to my sister’s.

“I’m home babes.”

“Ok you were cutting it close lol.”

“You can call off the search party!”

“I was the search party sweetums!”

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Diamonds: The Strip Club

I quite enjoy strip clubs. I have been many, many times starting way back in my college years. I even danced in a go-go bar for a month one summer when I was 20. Women’s bodies are sexy as hell. I like them all – tall, short, thick, thin (not too thin though), small boobs, boobs that’ll knock you in to the next room, long legs, muscular legs, and all that ass – yum yum!

Diamonds and I talked and laughed over the years about going together. How fun it would be to post up, look at some ladies, get a lap dance, joke, a few drinks and have a good time. God knows we had spent enough hours in hotels over the years that we needed to get out.

He did some research and found a place near the shore – about a 45 minute drive. We got ready in the hotel room, nothing fancy, but it was fun to get dressed and primp together. He was on point as usual with some dark blue jeans, blue plaid button down, grey sweater, matching dark grey flat cap, and the fucking way he smelled, good god, it was hard to let him keep his clothes on.

We took off and with the tunes on and us singing along. The car ride went fast. When we pulled in to the parking lot, I glanced to the left. It was a typical windowless joint adjacent to a sub-three star hotel.

Fully nude establishments in New Jersey cannot get liquor licenses, but you can BYOB. We grabbed some beers for him and a bottle of bubbles for me on the ride up. We walked in to a dark, but lightly occupied room. Several guys hanging out together along one wall with a full cooler of beers. A Latina woman was on the stage, which was flanked by two poles at either end and high-top bar seating along the opposite side. We first sat along the wall next to the guys to get the lay of the land and check out the scene, get a drink going. I was the only woman in the room fully clothed.

Diamonds is a pretty outgoing guy so he’s chatting with the guys next to us, and when one of the dancers comes over for a few bucks. I’m the shy one, especially sober, so I move quickly on my bubbles to get myself relaxed and more convivial.

There was one lady that immediately caught my eye because she had a body like mine, although a number of inches shorter and with slightly bigger boobs, healthy ass – all my favorite types. We watched her on stage and she was spicy. Although I couldn’t hear what she was saying I could see that she was giving the guys a little attitude – such a turn on.

After her dance and a drink or two, we decide to step out for a smoke. He paid the bouncer to watch our booze and keep our seats. It was cold out so we jumped back in his car and turned on the music and the heat.

As we were puffing and chatting away about the scene inside, I look up and see this older, rail of a white man emerge out of the black woods behind the strip club on a kid’s BMX bike. He sees us in the car and starts riding over towards us. This completely freaks me the fuck out. Where the fuck did this guy come from? Was he high? Armed? Is he just going to ask for money?

Diamonds is calm, cool, collected when the guy rolls up to the driver’s side. He puts the window down a crack.

“Hey, my man, what’s up?”

“Can I get a little money for something to eat?”

He looks like he’s been living in the woods for awhile. Dirty clothes, face. Smelly, quite thin frame.

“Sorry man, I can’t help you.”

“Can I at least get a smoke?”


Diamonds gives him a couple of smokes, puts up his window and the guy rides off.

I guess when you are 6′, 300 lb and half-black people tend to not fuck with you that hard or at all. I was so scared the guy would pull a knife or a gun or do something really crazy. Diamonds wasn’t worried at all.

“I have a scary side as well, but reserved until needed. It wasn’t needed.”

We finished our smokes and headed back in to the club. We moved our drinks to a couple of chairs right at the stage for a better view and to get some more attention from the ladies.

Diamonds asked me to pick a girl and suggested we get a lap dance together. I knew exactly who I wanted – that sexy, spicy one with the nice C boobs I wanted to get my hands on. When she got off stage and started walking around the club, Diamonds got her attention and made the deal.

We followed her back to a room on the opposite side of the club. It was a long, rectangular space with just a curtain closure. There was cushioned bench seating along the three walls. It was unusual in that there were other guys getting lap dances in the room at the same time. Weird and distracting, but not bad to have all that eye candy.

She asked us to sit next to each other, and as the next song started, she started moving her body to the rhythm while she took off her bra top. Finally, those yummy boobs I was waiting for. She first put her hands on my knees and spread my legs apart. Then turned around and started grinding her ass into my vagina. She pressed in so hard she actually got clit contact. Fuck. I reached over and gripped Diamonds’ thigh close to his cock.

While she was moving around, he leaned over and whispered something in her ear. She immediately got on to the bench next to him on her knees then crawled across both of us. Her ass up in his face while she buried her face in my vagina. She pressed her closed mouth against my jeans and rubbed up and down. I looked over and smiled at Diamonds while he watched her ass bounce up and down in his face.

She climbed all the way across and straddled me backwards, leaning back on me. I asked if I could touch her. She nodded and I immediately grabbed two handfuls of those beautiful, soft tits. From the outside, I squeezed in and up and then softly pinched her hard nipples. Diamonds ran his hand down her thigh, leaned over and put his wet lips right on mine. A brief make-out sesh while I had titties in my hands – absolute heaven.

But alas the song ended quickly. We thanked her, he tipped her and then we moved out to return to our seats at the stage.

Diamonds immediately asked me to pick another girl I liked.

“That was fucking hot.”

Oh, yes it was. I had only wished the lap dance room was a bit more private. I wanted to get away with a little more.

We watched, we drank, we went out for smoke breaks – thankfully the biker from the woods never reappeared – we laughed at the whole night.

I picked another woman for a second dance. Taller, blond, much bigger tits. We followed her back in to the lap dance room. She was less enthusiastic with much less rhythm and just took turns dancing on him, dancing on me. Boring, but the first girl was in there dancing on another guy. Neither of the ladies stopped dancing, but our first dancer started chatting us up. We were having a good ole time joking with her while she grinded on this other rando. I wish her boobs were in my face instead.

After the blah blah second lap dance, we went back and hung around at our stage seats. We talked about getting another dance from the first woman, but we were a bit buzzed, horny and had a 45 minute drive ahead of us.

I slept most of the way back, and shuffled sleepily from the car to the hotel room.

As soon as the door closed, Diamonds was grabbing me. Kissing my neck, reaching down to unhook my belt buckle. I woke up pretty quick.

He puts his hands on my hips and pushed downward to get me on the bed. Took off my boots while I continued taking off my pants. I had barely gotten my top over my head and he was on me, grinding his cock, still in his boxer briefs, over my already wet pussy. I wanted his cock in me.

Thinking back to the first dance and those perky soft boobs with the hard nipples. Watching her ass bounce up right at his nose, inches away from his full soft lips. We were both so ready to fuck.

He buried his face in my neck, slipped his cock through the front opening of his boxers and plunged into me hard. I let out a loud gasp and threw my arms around his neck to hold on for the ride. He scooped up both of my ass cheeks to get the leverage to pound me, pulling them back and forth in rhythm with his cock sliding in and out.

I let him have me.

His breathing quickened and got louder. Pounding, pounding, pounding until he couldn’t hold back any longer and exploded.

He moved to the side, but I wasn’t done. I was so turned on by the entire night, I needed to finish.

He sat up on the bed leaning back on the pillows at the headboard. I remained in the same spot now perpendicular to him and bent my legs over his. My ass was swimming in a pool of our sex. I wiped my drenched lips and clit with the heel of my right hand and went in direct and fast with my right index and middle fingers.

Diamonds sat there quietly watching. My clit was so swollen it didn’t take me long to cum. I followed his explosion with one of my own, arched my back as I screamed out several profanities while I rode the top of the wave.

Coming down was calming. After all the sexual tension and build up from the night, it was so satisfying. I slid up next to him and put my head on his chest. I rubbed his soft, smooth body. We just lay there enjoying each other’s bodies and the fun, sexy night we just had.

I caught myself dozing and with painful realization pulled myself off of him and in to the bathroom to clean up. Went home to my sister’s and crashed with a big smile on my face.

“Wow and to say epic. Everything was epic last night sweets. That lil spicy white girl was fun. I kept whispering in her ear to do more things to you lol. We were boss in that place. We came back and it got a lil spicy lol.”

“God that was such a fun night! Thank you!”

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Diamonds: The Chicken Noodle Soup Year

Just as in previous years, February through December passed by in a flash. I was New Jersey bound again – looking forward to my sister’s big New Year’s Day bash and seeing Diamonds. It was harder and harder to act casual around him at the party with all my family and their familiar friends around. We probably spent too much time talking to each other, drawing attention, but if anyone suspected, they looked the other way.

Then on to the really, really good part – getting a hotel room and him all alone!

“Started feeling a little sick last night with a cold trying to fight it off. I hope this isn’t my bad cold for the year. Not before I get alone time with my snookems lol.”

“Oh no!! Fight that cold! But I’ll take care of you when I see you love.”

This time I made the hotel arrangements and picked one of those places that were short-term stays for business types so we’d have a small kitchen. I planned to check in early and set up a bunch of creature comforts for him when he arrived. Homemade chicken noodle soup. His favorite body wash so he could warm up in the shower. Candles for soft lighting.

I picked up all the ingredients from a nearby grocery store. I bought a whole chicken so I could use the bones to enhance the crappy store bought stock while shredding the meat for the soup itself. I didn’t quite have the 3-4 hours, and likely the kitchen equipment and utensils, to roast bones and start stock from scratch.

I also picked up some bubbles for me to entertain myself while cooking. The ingredients to my favorite cooking adventures always involve bubbles and music. This time I was planning on the addition of watching porn as well.

I went to the Target next door to pick up the candles and noticed that they already had Valentine’s Day stuff out. I saw this cute, short apron on display – white with pink hearts that tied around the waist and was open in the back. New ingredient…cooking mostly naked! After all, it’s only safe kitchen etiquette to make sure the important front bits are covered sufficiently.

I got to the room, unpacked, set everything up and got going. He had to run over to the city to meet with his jeweler about a piece he was working on for a client so he was running even later than expected. As much as I couldn’t wait to see him, I was excited to spend a few more hours attempting an as-much-from-scratch chicken noodle soup in this ill-equipped hotel room kitchen.

The knife was dull af with a nearly bendable blade it was so thin. The one cutting board was way too small. Two electric burners. No tongs. One large pyrex bowl.

In my little apron, flip flops and nothing else, I soldiered on. I had bubbles, music, muted porn and hours to myself…heaven!

I set up the candles and body wash for him. Ginger ale, OJ and vodka in the fridge. Airborne, cough drops, sour cream and onion potato chips, beef jerky. How ever he felt, I wanted to be prepared.

The bubbles and porn were making me a little too hot in the kitchen. I definitely wanted to wait for him for the pleasure so I teased him with a few pictures in my apron.

I bent over the bathroom sink and took a picture pointed backward into the mirror so he could see my long legs and ass.

I sat on the couch with my legs crossed, lifted the apron to reveal just a hint of my pussy.

I laid on my side on the bed, bent my knees, stuck out my ass so he could see all the long curves of my calves, thighs, ass, back.

I hit send on all of them.

“Wow fucking wow. I can’t wait for that soft ass to fill up my hands. Every curve of you. I love the way you keep me so locked in. I’ll be there soon!”

By the time he walked in, I had only about a glass left in the bottle. He looked around at the soft lighting and the pile of everything I could think of to make him feel better. Without hesitation, he walked right over to me, picked me up and gave me a zillion kisses on my face.

My smile was wider than the sky.

He put me down and we immediately locked lips. God how I missed those thick, pillowy soft lips.

A first few little kisses got steamy quick. He picked me up and put me on the edge of the small peninsula at the edge of the kitchen that doubled as counter-top space and dining table.

I was so ready to go – physically, emotionally, mentally and literally with only that apron on.

He put one hand on my back and gently laid me back on the table. Threw off his hoodie, slipped off shoes, dropped jeans and drawers and pulled my hips right on to his hard black cock.

For a nanosecond I wondered if the table would hold me.

The feeling of us together again was all encompassing. There was nothing else in the world. The entire hotel could have fallen around us and I don’t think we would have stopped.

I sat up while he was still inside me so I could watch his cock sliding in and out. One of my favorite POVs.

I moved my hips back and forth while he ran his hands all over my body.

He stopped, put his hands under my ass and in one fluid motion picked me up keeping his cock inside. I put my arms around his neck and he walked slowly to the bed, bent down and rested my ass on the edge. I laid back. He kept pumping in and out of my now slick pussy.

I put my legs straight up in the air and crossed my feet so my pussy would be wrapped around his cock as tight as it could be. He held my ankles to one side of his face and stared right into my eyes.

Without warning, our sex was suddenly transformed. All that pent up emotion from not seeing him for a year came rushing in.

It was one of the most connected moments I had had during sex.

I got a tingle in my nose and could feel my head and eyes start to well up. Our sex had just become love making.

While I didn’t cry, I think he saw the emotion on my face and felt it too. He stopped. Without a word, I sat up on my knees and we wrapped arms tightly around each other.

His smooth skin, wide chest, thick arms, big hands swallowed me up whole.

He pulled back and we started kissing. I put my hands on either side of his cheeks and pressed in to his lips with a new passion.

A new love for him.

I moved back on the bed and he climbed on. He slid right into me, but stayed leaning back a bit. I noticed the angle allowed me to have access to my clit.

I pulled my lips apart and started rubbing with my right index and middle fingers while he moved back and forth slowly and deliberately. Watching me.

The feeling inside was tremendous. It didn’t take me long to reach my summit. As I was screaming out, he quickened his pace, which elongated my orgasm. It felt like it was going on forever. The increased volume of his moans woke me from my trance.

Once he came, he collapsed beside me on the bed. I climbed on top of him so we could get as much skin contact as possible. I didn’t want to stop feeling his body on mine.

I put my head next to his and rubbed his head with my right hand. He ran his hands slowly up and down my back.

We had not uttered one word.

For those moments, I felt like we had melted together into a sweet chocolate-vanilla swirl.

Eventually we got ourselves up, partially clothed ourselves in pajamas, and we came back to reality. Hours flew by as we drank, talked, laughed. He ate the chicken noodle soup with a deep appreciation in his eyes and many thankful words.

I fell in love that night.

It was an absolute true, but crazy feeling. Nerdie and I had been dating for two and a half years. We had already had some conversations about marriage.

How could I be in love with two people at the same time?

I had no answers at that point. Only that my feelings were true. I wanted to marry Nerdie and have him in my life every day, be his partner, be his teammate, be his lover, build a life.

I wanted Diamonds too. To be a best friend, a best lover, stay this close forever.

We saw each other several more times before the month was over and then I went back home.

“I was talking about you this am if your ears were ringing. Nothing bad just talking to my mom about people, relationships, etc. Just how me and you are a rare case and how special you are to me and how we get along. And how I had a great time when you were here. And I can’t stop thinking about you. And even though I don’t talk about the sex all the time it’s totally fucking amazing with you. I’m all over the place in my head.”

“I’m crazy in my head too…we text and don’t see each other for 12 months…then bam! I want to be with you 24/7 all over you…want all of you and all your time!”

“Our vibe is real and trust me I want to give it all to you. I’m sorry so sorry sweetums. It’s hard as fuck for me. I knew it would be when you came. And I know it’s not possible. Strong when apart weak as a muthafuck when near.”

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The Gent: Birth of a Panther

As my relationship with PhD was imploding, I decided that after I graduated culinary school I would go by myself to my family’s beach house in NC. I hadn’t been there in more than five years. The ocean was calling me as a place of peace amidst the turmoil of PhD, being fresh out of school with no job and the acceptance that most of my culinary school friends were going back from whence they came. I needed to sit for hours on the porch rocking, watching the waves and hearing them crash just like I did as a little girl. I needed wet sand between my toes and to feel the last push of a wave grasping at the shore rush over my feet. I needed to close my eyes and feel my skin suck the sun’s warmth in as I turn a healthy golden brown. I needed crab cakes served in a crab shell, fried flounder, sweet hush puppies and watery mayo coleslaw, buttery biscuits and fennel-laden sausage patties. But what I needed most, what I craved, what I could practically smell the moment that salt air hit my nose after I arrived and parked under the house was one pound of beer and Old Bay-steamed whole shrimp served on a styrofoam plate, lots of napkins and a cold shitty beer in a can.

And that’s the first thing I did.

I dropped my bags, took a deep breath of the inside of the house, said a fond hello to the ocean and headed right over to the restaurant on the mainland side of the bridge. It sat right on the intercostal waterway. A two story rickety white and red painted wood structure with outdoor picnic table seating. I went through the line, ordered my pile of shrimp and a beer and waited on a bar stool.

It was better than I remembered. By the end of that pound, I had a thick layer of Old Bay under my nails and shrimp legs stuck to my fingers. It was divine.

I didn’t want to go home, but I didn’t want to drink any more since I had driven. I took the car back to the house and walked two blocks to a neighborhood bar and restaurant. They had a live band playing and I slid right into a bar seat on the corner. It was mid-September and so sparsely filled by locals who live on the island year-round.

Before I got the bartenders attention, The Gent, who was sitting two stools down, asked me where I was from. He quickly moved next to me and we talked easily for over an hour. He lived two doors down from my family’s house.

The Gent was about 5’8″, 59, owned a construction company in town that built three-story monstrosities all over the island plowing down dunes, native grasses and animals in the process of covering every inch with beach houses.

Hairy, beer chubby, thin gray spikey hair, naturally spent too much time making out with the sun over the years, a footlong band of white skin wrapping around his nether regions.

But damn am I a sucker for a southern accent, smile and charm.

He was funny, always cracking jokes and laughing at them. Smiling with a can of cold beer in his hand living in swim trunks.

When I announced I was turning in to a pumpkin, he walked me home. It was on his way.

Over the next ten days, we spent a lot of time together. I would get up, go to the little local gym in town, make eggs, sausage and a biscuit for breakfast while I stared at the ocean from the kitchen table. Then I’d spend a few hours working on the house. I recall many days sitting on the cement carpark floor under the house, listening to music, repainting the rocking chairs, crying over my conclusion that when I returned to CA I was going to break up with PhD. I drank hard sodas at 11AM. Then when it was time for the paint to dry, I would suit up and head across the street to the beach to get my daily two hours of sun.

The Gent came by often wherever I was. Sat with me on the beach talking until he starting snoring.

I went over to his house for dinner nearly every night, except on the ones I needed to stay in and have a pity party.

On one of these nights, after dinner, we sat on his front porch listening to the ocean, to music, drank and talked until it was AM. I got up to say goodnight and head home. I walked to the end of the porch and turned at the top of the stairs to hug him. It lasted just a moment longer than usual and when I pulled away I saw it in his eyes.

I walked home past the house in between ours and had the first thought that he wanted me. I was naive and obviously off in my own world consumed by thoughts of what was going on with PhD that I had completely missed it.

The next few days hanging out with The Gent I was a little freaked. He was twenty years older than me. I had never done anything with a man so much older. The idea of it was no where on my radar screen until literally just then.

He took me out on the waterway in his boat. He stopped at a few docks to say hello to his local friends. He didn’t introduce me, but seemed quite pleased to show me off in my yellow string bikini, tatted golden skin. He caught a young, sexy thang.

After awhile he stopped the boat so we could drink and fish. I was so nervous that he was going to make a move. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if he did. But I was curious to know what kissing an older man would be like. Maybe I should make the move first to find out.

Nothing happened.

We went back. I went home to clean up and we planned on dinner at his again.

We did the usual routine. Bad wine, a selection of Costco cheeses while he grilled something – mostly whatever was caught that day at the fish market within walking distance.

Instead of going outside after dinner, we settled in on the couch. I sat, he moved in closer. He’s absolutely going to kiss me. I was so nervous.

When it happened, I was shocked. I don’t know what I was thinking it was going to be like – as if older men kissed like aliens or something. But it was normal and quite nice. His lips were thin, but soft. His hands on me were big and strong. He moved with purpose and confidence.

It was getting heated. I had never felt an older man’s body. His biceps were thick and strong. His chest hair was full and soft. He had a round belly and love handles. Wide shoulders and fuzzy hair. Pecs that were slightly boobs.

I was enjoying it all.

It was exciting. A new adventure. I loved it. I wanted to fuck.

I pulled away for a moment and said…

“Do you think you are ready to see my birthday suit?”

A wide grin took over his face as I stood up and pulled my sundress over my head revealing a tight light pink bra that even made my small tits heaving and full. Matching thong.

“You’re beautiful. Lordy so sexy.”

We had a magical evening. He took charge and I liked it – a lot.

He didn’t let me sit down, but grabbed my hand and walked me to his bed. I laid down on my back and he climbed right on top. He was heavy on me. I could feel his chest hair rubbing on my tits and his hard cock pushing up against my pubic bone. The head was teasing my lips.

His hands were wild grabbing my tits, rubbing my thighs, cupping the outside of my pussy with a finger pushing in between my lips to check my wetness. I was soaking.

He kissed my neck, my ear lobes. He was hungry. It must have been awhile for him. His energy was winding me up into a frenzy.

He slid himself down, bent my legs and spread my thighs apart. He ate my pussy with confidence and I could feel how pleasurable it was for him as well. He moaned nearly as much as I did.

It didn’t take me long to finish, but he wasn’t at my first orgasm. I had to ask him to slow down as I recovered a bit. My clit was swollen and very sensitive. He was patient and I came thrice more.

I was sopping wet. I could feel it under my ass and all over my inner thighs. In one fluid motion, he came up for air, wiped his mouth and plunged his long hard cock inside me.

My lips felt pursed so when he entered it was extraordinary. Sliding in and out fast. I looked down and caught a glimpse of his rhythmically disappearing cock. His moans quickly crescendoed and he collapsed on top of me. That heavy feeling I liked again.

I toweled off my vagina, light-headed and smiling all over. Wow, what the fuck just happened?!?

The next day I decided to extend my stay by a week. I didn’t want to leave the ocean nor his mouth on my pussy.

We played like we were newlyweds on honeymoon except I slept in my own bed at home. We took more boat rides, fished, spent hours laying on the beach together, made dinner, drank and listened to the ocean at night and fucked a lot.

As the third week was coming to a close, I had thoughts of staying. I had no job, few friends and a relationship on the way out the door back home. I could rent the house from my siblings and live a cheap ass beach life for some time. But CA called me home.

The very last morning he came over to say goodbye. It was a little teary for me. I did not want to go home and face the awful task of breaking up with PhD and the terrible, painful fall out that would follow. I wanted to eat shrimp and live at the beach and fuck The Gent.

Looking back seven years later, I am more than glad I came back to CA and faced the pain. Life did get well worse before it got better, but The Gent opened the door over those three weeks and a baby panther slinked slowly out of the darkness.

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My Trips to Cougar Town

Since 2015 I knew I liked older men, but a year later I was still just at the beginning of my personal sexual revolution. The dating app world was my oyster and I wanted at least a dozen to try with mignonette, lemon and all the fixin’s! My previous sexual experiences up until then were pretty plain, not all vanilla, but age appropriate, monogamous-focused, it takes two-kind of stuff. So as I embarked on my exploration, I felt a few trips to Cougar Town was imperative.

I first rode in to Cougar Town while I was in culinary school – this was 2014. I fancied this tall, troubled gent from New Orleans. I’m at absolute sucker for a Southern accent. He had been stationed in Iraq as an 18 YO fresh out of high school. He was in the cool crowd at culinary school and we barely talked except when necessary during class. When everyone would hang out in the evenings, he definitely got the shittiest. Lots and lots of Jameson. I admired and was empathetic from afar.

One night deep into the drinking evening with the class, I was talking to his best friend. He and I had not been seeing eye to eye in class – that’s the polite way of putting it anyway. After our little tiff where I’m pretty sure I told him he was a fucking dick, I can’t actually recall how or why I mentioned I had a wee little crush on his friend. The next thing I recall is New Orleans sitting on a bar stool, me standing next to him and him with his arm wrapped around my waist.

After the bar closed at 2AM, I went back to his – a room he was renting in a house where the owner was asleep. We were both clearly inebriated, but then he started smoking weed.

When we came back in to his room, I was talking off my boots when, standing in front of me, he threw a pillow on the floor and without a word, starting taking of his pants. I obliged, I mean what a gentleman – so thoughtful of him to put a pillow on the floor to comfort my knees why I swallow his dick!

After that night, we went back to not talking to each other.

I took a two-year hiatus from cougaring. Until Darling Nicky – see Part I and Part II.

Left disappointed again, I moved on to the next town with hopes of better sites…AND pleasure.

Then when a 29 YO (I am nearly 41 YO at the time) messaged me about a year later on whatever dating app I was on then, I said WTF, maybe third time will lead to an orgasm??

Cougler was first generation Jordanian, short, light-skinned, broad chested and thick with muscles and dark hair. His parents owned a casual restaurant in a town about 30 minutes away and as a traditional family, they all lived together in the apartment upstairs. He helped them out on the busy weekends, but M-F drove about an hour away to work at a big Bay Area company HQ.

A drop of young drama commenced.

“I’m here, but I’ll be waiting outside. I just noticed by ex bf brother is working the bar. Rather not see him.”

We chose another bar and I actually had a great time. As we drank margaritas, he taught me about tequilas and his family history from Jordan. I was intellectually stimulated! Amazing and so fucking hot! But one rule I still have not broken is no sex or coming home with or inviting home on a first date (well…see Prison Dyke – Part I and Part II). I walked to the bar, so I let him drive me home (also kind of a no-no).

But with all that brain activity going on in my head, I know my pussy was not far behind. We parked outside my apartment for a make-out sesh. His lips were big, soft, wet and he kept his tongue in check. Leaning over the console, he put his hand on my thigh over my jeans and inched closer, gripping firmer.


I was able to pull myself away and end the evening.


“You are an extremely beautiful and sexy woman. I’m looking forward to exploring your body. As you got up out of the car, I got a small glimpse of your tattoos. It was a bit of a tease.”

“I like to be a bit of a tease. Your hand on my thigh almost did me in though…”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold back next time.”

The next day he sent me a 3 minute unsolicited video of him stroking himself. Hot, but ugh.

We continued the sexually tense chatting as I headed on a birthday trip with Nerdie to Reno.

“Happy Birthday! Maybe later next week you can unwrap your bday gift. <winking emoji>

“Thanks for remembering…so sweet! Let me guess…this gift is in your pants??”

“LOL yes maybe I can send you some more teasers in the meantime.”

Just ugh.

This round included a full nude in the mirror – face, cock and all!

“I want to lick you all up and down. I’m dying to get a taste. The anticipation is driving me crazy!”

I was losing slight interest – not that I didn’t find him attractive and nice – but the youthful, lack of nuanced approach was softening my dick. Still, I wanted to try him to hopefully erase my previous lackluster cougaring experiences.

“You know I’ve been thinking about you plenty over the past couple of days. I would love to see you tonight.”


“Why don’t you just come over? I’ll have some snacks and drinks handy, but I’ll warn you since I’m moving soon, my apt is pretty sparse…”

“No worries. There’s really only one thing that I’m looking forward to eating tonight. <winking emoji>”

<Eye roll emoji> with hint of cautious optimism??

Yes, we didn’t do much eating and drinking before he pounced. I was into it. I was routing for him.

When the make-out and dry heavy petting became overwhelming, he just stood up, literally threw me over his shoulder and carried me to the bed. Ok, hot.

I was looking forward to a good tongue lashing and that’s exactly where he went first – hooray!

He got going, I was getting comfortable. Closed my eyes to cut off visual sensory so I could appreciate the touch. He worked his way down from my breasts to my inner thighs, kissing, rubbing, licking. The anticipation was now driving me crazy.

He finally settled in between my thighs and roped his arms around my legs for leverage. The first touch of his tongue on my clit sent shivers running through me. Oh the spell will be broken tonight – Cougler is it!

Before I could enjoy my excitement at the upcoming orgasm or even concentrate on getting myself there, it was over. Could I even have counted to 10?

The rest of the evening was fun, way more than New Orleans but my disappointment was on par with Darling Nicky – what a let down. After he ceased focus on me, it was all about him. I did enjoy his hard, hairy bod! I even said so the next day.

“I loved every inch of your hard hairy bod! 😉 So you mentioned there was a girl who really helped you up your kissing game, interested in addl lessons??”

“I’m good with constructive criticism.”

“I just find guys in their 20s rush, and that’s why I’m not interested in second rounds as much as I like to touch and admire. If you are open, I’d like to alter that scenario. If nothing else in my life right now, I’m open and honest…”

“I appreciate your honesty and much rather you tell me the truth than have me keep going about it the wrong way. I promise to be more patient and attentive to you the next time we meet.”

Well, ok, Cougler.

So we picked back up with our sexually charged texts. I got excited again. It would be fun to teach a young buck better tricks. That’s part of what you read about why young men go after older women, right? To get a lesson or two?

But unfortunately life got in the way. He kept trying – would text me when he was in my town, but my interest fizzled. Do I really want to spend the time, patience and energy being a teacher or get some instant gratification in my typical form – not as a Cougar, but rather a sexy Panther!

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