…Because I’m Awesome

If you’ve read a post or two on here, you may have noticed I like music. Well, I actually love music and I think I have quite eclectic taste, which started I believe at about age 4. I vividly remember listening to The Nutcracker while learning to dance ballet and Chaka Khan in jazz class a few years later.

It’s quite curious, though, because I don’t recall my parents being so into music. They had their favorites. My mom loved the music of her youth in the late ’50’s and early ’60’s, including some that are still my favorites – Johnny Mathis, Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn. My dad was much more into ’70’s and ’80’s rock, but came to love many genres he heard when he traveled – most notably in my memory, Zydeco music after a trip to NoLa.

At the end of every post, I like to include a song, well really a video, from YouTube – something that relates to the story I’m telling. I try to vary the genre from week to week and have actually discovered some great songs I wasn’t familiar with along the way. I had never heard Ozzy sing about getting so high that he saw fairies with boots on, had you?

I actually keep both Pandora and Spotify, mostly because I’ve had Pandora so long it’s only $3.99 a month without ads, but also because I really enjoy creating a station and letting it suggest new songs for me rather than always being able to pick exactly what I want to hear. Yes, I know you can select playlists on Spotify, but you can see all the songs on the list already. Spoiler alert fail!

I have created playlists for important people and events in my life on Spotify. I have one for Nerdie that I shared with him – all love songs so if he ever needs to be reminded. One for our Wedding that we created together. One for Diamonds of my favorite songs that make me think fondly of him when I’m missing him.

A few months ago I created a playlist for myself called “…Because I’m Awesome.” It is named for a song by The Dollyrots, which I have been jokingly calling my personal anthem for years. The day I created the playlist, it struck me that I should build my own list of songs to keep track, not just of songs I love, but of songs to remind me that I love me.

So far I have nine songs on the list – just about 30 minutes playing time. Usually that’s more than enough to improve my mood, but every time I think of a song I add it.

Some times listening acts as self-care – picking me up after a hard day or week and reminding me that I kick ass. Some times I’m already in a good mood and just want to boost that dopamine into the stratosphere.

Here’s the current list:

  • “…Because I’m Awesome” The Dollyrots

    Let’s just say I have a healthy level of self-confidence…most days. This is a silly, girl power, rockin’ tune with the best chorus:

    “I’m a leader, I’m a winner, and I’m cleaner…’cause I’m awesome,
    I don’t need you ’cause I’m neato and I beat you ’cause I’m awesome.”

    The video is equally silly and entertaining.

    Girl power rock music (NOT pop) is definitely a fan fav with me. L7, Liz Phair, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Metric, Snake River Conspiracy, Bif Naked, Lily Allen, No Doubt, Amy Winehouse, The Donnas, Regina Spektor, The Breeders, Santiagold, Veruca Salt, Dorothy…the list is long and deep.

    Anything that makes me feel strong to go out, face another day and kick some ass (figuratively speaking, of course!).
  • “Vulcan” Snake River Conspiracy

    I mean the first word of this song is her yelling, “FUCK!” Well, you had me at fuck!

    I’m not sure I even understand all the lyrics to this song, but the music fucking kicks ass and makes me want to kick a door down or something.

    My fav line: “You could talk me into fucking you, but I don’t think you’d survive…”
  • “None Of Your Business” Salt-N-Pepa

    These ladies had a lot of killer songs in the late ’80’s/early ’90’s, including a family favorite with my sister’s side of the family, “Push It” because of a very funny incident with my mom back when the song released in 1986.

    I was 10 and after a very brief hair band phase (I wanted all the Sugar on Me and the Cherry Pie!), I got into rap because, you guessed it, I had a crush on a boy. He also loved the Beastie Boys, who I still enjoy to this day.

    I can remember this like it was last week. It was me and mom in the car. Obviously at age 10, she’s driving and I’m in the front passenger seat. “Push It” comes on the radio and I start singing the lyrics.

    Mid-my belting out, I can see her head whip around out of the corner of my left eye and I can feel her eyes piercing my skin with her stare and she says firmly, “PUSH WHAT??”

    I have no idea what I said to get out of that one – probably something about a dance move. Well, we still play this song at every New Year’s Day Party my sister holds, and we never told my mom why.

    “None of Your Business” was a few years later and, while it got air time, definitely wasn’t as popular probably because of the lyrics. If you don’t know this one, it’s kind of self-explanatory. The shit they do behind closed doors ain’t none of your concern.

    It definitely resonates with me because of my ENM lifestyle. First, when I was out exploring my sexuality after being newly single. I really didn’t feel bad about all the sex I was having with lots of different people (I carried no religious guilt), and this song agreed with me. More recently because I do feel like a circus freak sometimes when I meet someone new to ENM and they have a zillion questions and comments for me. I don’t mind sharing and explain my journey and primary relationship with Nerdie, but remember the “Wow – I can’t believe your husband lets you do this!” comment? You haven’t missed the boat – the boat you were trying to catch is on another planet.

    Several Fav Lines:

    “Opinions are like assholes and everybody’s got one.”
    “The difference between a hooker and a ho ain’t nothing but a fee.”
    “And if she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekends, it’s none of yo business.”
  • “Can’t Stand Still” Buffalo Clover

    I believe this was Margo Price’s band before she went solo. This song is killer, but you can’t find it anywhere. I have to randomly wait for it to come up on my Pandora. It’s not on Spotify nor YouTube. There must have been some legal something something that prevents it from being searched and downloaded.

    Nevertheless, it’s all about giving the bird to traditional women’s roles.

    So many fav lines starting with the first one:

    “Well women ain’t supposed to ramble,
    and women ain’t supposed to drink,
    why would I want to stay home all night,
    washing dishes in the kitchen sink.”


    “But my papa said I gotta get married,
    My mama told me ‘settle down,’
    But I bought me a ticket on a big jet plane,
    I’m gonna fly straight out of town.”

    “I still got a long way to go,
    Because I can’t stand still,
    No I never will.”
  • “HOT” Ktlyn

    Here’s that healthy self-confidence delivered right to your veins. It’s an uncomplicated, modern pop/rap song – that’s it.

    Fav Lines:

    “They fuck with me because I ain’t tryna be no one I’m not,
    This is why I’m hot,
    Hoes prayin’ that I flop,
    Ima keep it simple,
    You just don’t got what I got.”

    “Wait, I’m really that, really that, hot bitch.”

    And the best line EVA…

    “I mean at this point, I’m jealous of my fuckin self.”
  • “Did It On ‘Em” Nicki Minaj

    There are only a few Nicki songs I like, but this one is at the top, no contest. It was released in 2011, and it was my work anthem for two straight years.

    In 2011, I was the second in charge working at a school in higher education. My boss left and I went for it. I actually had more experience than she and for three years had already had to keep my corset on – I wanted to breathe and show them what I could really do!

    I got turned down for the job, so I went across campus and got the same ass job at another school. I just sucked all the air out of that team and left the dean high and dry with no top fundraisers to close big donations from alumni. I have to say it felt so good to fuck him over.

    Then two years later, I turned up the volume on that song again when I left the university altogether to go to culinary school. Fuck that whole bureaucratic, creativity crushing, cliquey bullshit!

    Fav Line:

    “If I had a dick, I would pull it out and piss on ’em.”
  • “Kiss It” Dorothy

    Dorothy is bit more modern grungy rock with the volume only turned up to 10, instead of the 11 you experience with Snake River Conspiracy. I’m sure you can guess by the title how the song is going to go.

    Fav Line:

    “My baby told me listen here, a woman need a man!
    All I gotta say to you is kiss it baby,
    Yeah, kiss it!”
  • “Started” Iggy Azalea

    I actually encourage Nerdie to listen to this song every day. I know when he hasn’t because he reverts back to saying he’s sorry too much for no reason. Oh god, you Californians say sorry for everything!

    One day, I’m going to sing the lyrics of the chorus when I get to the other side.

    “I started from the bottom and now I’m rich,
    I got in my bag and I ain’t looked back since,
    I started to say sorry, but fuck that shit,
    You started out hatin’, now you love my drip.”

    I absolutely LOVE that she sings the chorus each time twice in a row.

    But my fav line:

    “You can say what you want about me as long as you pay me.”
  • “Sugar Baby” Megan Thee Stallion

    Just like Nicki, I’m not a super fan boy of Megan, but she’s got some tight lyrics. The opening one to this song makes me crack up.

    “Oh, he want a bad bitch?
    Well, I wanna a nigga with some money and a long dick,
    Buy me everything in my cart if you my boyfriend,
    Invest in this pussy, boy,
    Support black business.”

    It’s hilarious and accurate all at once.

    Fav Line:

    “And I’m in my book,
    So I think like a bad bitch.”

    She likely meant that as being smart because she’s well read, but I like to interpret it as being in her book keeping track of her money – strategizing, being entrepreneurial, and smart as hell.

I write this post, hopefully to be entertaining, and maybe you’ll discover a new favorite song, but also because I encourage everyone to start a “…Because I’m Awesome” playlist for themselves. Maybe it’s a Katy Perry “Roar” or Christina Aguilera “Beautiful” or Gloria Gaynor “I Will Survive” or Journey “Don’t Stop Believin'” type playlist.

Whatever your songs are that lift you up and make you feel powerful, smart, pretty, accomplished, and confident, put them in a playlist so you can listen to them whenever you need to or just want to because you are having a great day. Stop, take a moment and say, “Yeah…because I’m fucking awesome!”

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